Here is something to brighten up your weekend, it certainly was the high point of my week.

I hate unsolicited direct contact from random staff I have never met, particularly if they are in the sales division. Why? Simple: When I need something, I sit on the phone or get a call back six days later. When they need something: SPAM, phone calls to the direct line, cell phone, and anything they can find on Google.

And seriously, if you’re going to fu*k with anyone you really ought to pick someone other than the CEO of an antispam company that can keep you from doing your job.

So when the people call after the big ticket purchase without request I just looooove to offer them something so disgusting, so repulsive, so nasty that they will never be able to look at the computer screen again and see my name and try to make a call before or after lunch. I can generally get them to hang up well before I get to the disgusting part, but now they have turned to spamming as well. Again, I am the wrong person to call. But if you’re gonna go after my account, there is one way to earn respect.

Click here for the Outlook screenshot.

For you older people (where old > 30) here is something that will make it easier on your magnifier tool.

Dell:

Hi Vlad,

My job is to make sure that your business is in the right segment within Dell in order to ensure that you receive the best pricing, service/support, etc. To do this I need to know what your technology needs/plans are for the next 12 months to see if you belong in our business alliance group, where you’ll receive preferred pricing and a dedicated sales rep/support team.

If you would, please take a quick minute and complete the following, which will allow me to make sure that your company is in the best division of Dell based on your needs.

Vlad:

Dear John,

We are in a market for 300,000 Vostro notebooks, 200 GigE Switches and can you recommend a server solution for something like that? Oh, and a color printer scanner combo, can they print and scan while you sit on them?

-Vlad

Dell:

How much weight are we talking about sitting on the printer?    Seriously, we can put together pretty much any solution for you.   Who is going to be the end-user for this solution?  

Regards,

John

Good show Dell! Here is the screenshot, obviously names have been stripped. I have to admit, as unwelcome as the intrusion was, the person on the other end handled it remarkably well and still tried to close!

Can you get that kind of a service from HP? Nope, didn’t think so.

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