Remember Looks Cloudy announcement from last week? Well, it’s on fire: 14 posts, tons of feedback and we’re still just framing the whole picture. But that’s nothing compared to Shockey Monkey Remote beta that we just unleashed.

“Oh god, no, no, no, no Vlad. Not another RMM? Say it ain’t so.”

Kind of. But not really.

What if someone built an RMM not to take your money and help you automate away your tasks, but to make it a part of your marketing and new client recruitment?

<evil grin>

More on that later this week, for now check out the SPAM:

Shockey Monkey Remote is an agent-based application that allows you to remotely monitor and view your users desktops, collect inventory information, receive alerts when the system goes down and collect event logs from managed systems. After over two weeks of very thorough testing, we are excited to make the beta available free of charge to all Shockey Monkey users.

Check out what it can do for you right now:

Remote Desktop – Remotely view and control your users Windows PC and support them in realtime. Remote view is based on the VNC technology and works really well over low-bandwidth connections.

Downtime Alerts – Instantly see which systems under your control are down.

Full Event Log Collection – Windows Event Logs include everything from hardware problems to software issues. Know before your users do and help them address it.

Asset Inventory – Know exactly what kind of hardware is out there, which software version is installed on it and help track your assets better, automatically.

Autoupdates – Beta will automatically update as fixes are rolled out. You don’t have to manage agents out in the field, all you have to do is install them.

Here are a few sneak peaks:

Of course, the true power of the solution only comes out when it’s integrated with the way you work and when the users are aware of it. This is a consumer RMM of sorts, we think managers and business owners will rely on it to access their office PCs from home and more. All while relying on your Shockey Monkey portal.

Please, please read the documentation first (it includes information on how to download the customized agent for your organization):

Shockey Monkey Remote Installation Guide

Shockey Monkey Remote Web Management Console

If you want a more technical discussion beyond this documentation, please consider downloading the webinar Hank and Vlad presented:

Shockey Monkey Remote Video

…

Go sign up for free Shockey Monkey at www.shockeymonkey.com/signup.php and go from there.

I promise to explain the whole hurricane of products that we’re launching this weekend, my friends talked me out of being honest. So check it out. And a very happy birthday to my buddy AB, thanks for the inspiration.

Are you sick and tired of the cloud hype yet? Even Microsoft and IBM are talking about the cloud – on national television directly to end consumers. It’s fantastic – it eliminates complex technology, IT departments and more. It’s closing down computer science programs and technology schools around the world. It’s magic!

Frankly, it’s bull—-. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

For everything else, I’m proud to present Looks Cloudy to you.

Kate Hunt, formerly of MSP University, is heading up an effort to educate  our IT Solution Providers how to benefit from the cloud. Through webinars, podcasts, blog posts and slicing through the hype machines and PR cloud-happy factories, she’ll be arming you with some common sense to address your clients needs and guide them through the clouds that all this hype is creating.

Fact: There is a lot of money in the cloud.

Problem: It’s not business as usual.

So hop on over to the Looks Cloudy site and tune in. I’ve spoken to a ton of our partners and I heard over and over just how much need there is for this beast. The IT MSP / VAR community needs a common sense approach to the cloud, which is a scarce commodity as everyone wants to talk about it. So let’s do what we’ve always done – throw our resources and brain power together and win. I’m pledging a lot of resources towards this project and will chime in over there from time to time – but the real power remains with you. We have had an unprecedented level of interest in contributing, sponsoring, promoting and helping MSPs move to the cloud.

The future Looks Cloudy and that’s not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all!

P.S. Interested in helping? Email vlad@vladville.com

This has been the most productive year I’ve ever had, thanks to getting organized, implementing a lot of GTD processes, unsubscribing from a mountain of newsletters and minimizing distractions. The single biggest piece of productivity enhancement in 2010 has come from <drumroll please>

Weed!

No, not the plant. I’ve never actually had it in my life but I heard great things. Instead of getting high, I got two useless college degrees in business and engineering. One day I hope to roll them up and lite them on fire. But I digress.

Weed is a gateway drug (according to public service announcements) that leads to more drugs.

Working on tasks you may not like, is a gateway drug to… getting tasks you don’t like done.

Here is how it typically works.

You open up your to-do list and write down Week 38.

You write up all of your must do tasks for the week, then sort them by importance, by date, by activity (subject to preference) and you get to it.

As you start working down the list, some difficult tasks tend to get pushed further and further back. Weeks from now you’ll see the same tasks being passed on from week to week with no hope of getting done. Eventually, your entire to-do list is packed with stuff you don’t want to do and every time you start to chip the iceberg a little you notice just how much more there is to do and you quit. Again. Next week there is even more of it!

Problems don’t go away. They get bigger.

The weed method (yet another thing I’m going to get Google to SEO around my name) of getting things done is allocating small bits of time each day to the tasks you’d rather not do.

Hate any given task? It will take an hour to do? Just hit the mental Vlad Blunt and go do it for five minutes.

Just five minutes. That’s all.

The next thing you know is that you’ll likely spend at least twice the time you expected to and probably even consider finishing it.

Problems appear bigger than they are when you aren’t actively working on solving them.

The big secret to all the infomercial scams that promise “incredible results in just 5 minutes a day” is in knowing that most of us have no mental ability to tell time.

This is why “just one minute” phone calls take half an hour and one hour meetings eat up the entire afternoon.

Once you’re doing something, it’s harder to stop.

But if you’re doing nothing, it’s f’n impossible to even get started.

So dedicate at least 5 minutes to each of your most difficult tasks and see if you don’t find a simpler solution or even better – get them done.

Have you ever tried work… on weed?

In about 2 hours I’ll be turning 32!

I never imagined I would be where I’m at by 32. Ever, actually. The only financial goal I ever remember setting for myself is being able to take home six figures. Today, every day I wake up (if I’m lucky to have gone to sleep – not from having to work but being so excited about what we’re doing that I can’t stop) I feel like that scene from Glengarry Ross – “The money is out there. You pick it up, it’s yours.” Today, our field is so hot and our partners are so awesome that all it takes is us talking about something and the line forms.

Being able to do what I do, and being this successful at it, is truly the best present I can get. Like I always remind my team – just because we think our products kick ass doesn’t mean anything: it’s our partners clients that need to think that too. Even though things are going great, there are so many things we are working on improving, scaling, making more effective, more efficient. Every day is a challenge of making things simpler, making things make more sense to the end consumer and doing more with the technology.

To all my readers, and to all the Vlad’s Ferrari Fund contributors, thank you. I’ll have some icing for you.

Today Woot.com announced it was being acquired by Amazon. I have to admit, this is the funniest takeover announcement I’ve ever read in my life.

And since I know most of you don’t like to read long paragraphs, I’ve taken the liberty of boldfacing the really funny stuff

Date: Weds, 30 June 2010
From: Matt Rutledge (CEO – Woot.com)
To: All Woot Employees
Subject: Woot and Amazon

I know I say this every time I find a picture of an adorable kitten, but please set aside 20 minutes to carefully read this entire email. Today is a big day in Woot history. This morning, I woke up to find Jeff Bezos the Mighty had seized our magic sword. Using the Arthurian model as a corporate structure was something our CFO had warned against from the very beginning, but now that’s water under the bridge. What is important is that our company is on the verge of becoming a part of the Amazon.com dynasty. And our plans for Grail.Woot are on indefinite hold.

Over the next few days, you will probably read headlines that say “Matt Rutledge revealed to be monstrous pseudo-human creation of Jeff Bezos.” You might even see this photo making the rounds. Rest assured that these rumors have nothing to do with our final decision. We think now is the right time to join with Amazon because, quite simply, every company that becomes a subsidiary gets two free downloads until the end of July, and we very much need that new thing with Trent Reznor’s wife on our iPods.

Other than that, we plan to continue to run Woot the way we have always run Woot – with a wall of ideas and a dartboard. From a practical point of view, it will be as if we are simply adding one person to the organizational hierarchy, except that one person will just happen to be a billion-dollar company that could buy and sell each and every one of you like you were office furniture. Nevertheless, don’t worry that our culture will suddenly take a leap forward and become cutting-edge. We’re still going to be the same old bottom-feeders our customers and readers have come to know and love, and each and every one of their pre-written insult macros will still be just as valid in a week, two weeks, or even next year. For Woot, our vision remains the same: somehow earning a living on snarky commentary and junk.

We are excited about doing this for all sorts of reasons. One, our business model is so vague that there’s no way Amazon can possibly change what it is we’re truly doing: preparing the way for the rise of the Lava Men in 2012. Also, our deal means that Jason Toon will finally be released from that Mexican jail owned by Zappos honcho Tony Hsieh. No, don’t lie, Tony, we’ve seen the paperwork. And we need a powerful ally in case Steve Jobs finally breaks down and comes after us for all our Apple jokes over the years. Don’t think of it as a buyout; think of it as NATO!

I will go through each of the above points in more detail later, but first, let me get to the top 5 burning questions that I’m guessing many of you will have.

TOP 5 BURNING QUESTIONS:

Q: F1RST!!!!
A: Okay, that’s not a question, but it is a good place to mention that our forums will still be policed by a team of moderators, as before. And also, Woot’s previous and always-in-effect privacy policy will still be just as always-in-effect, so don’t worry, there are no plans to suddenly give up or merge your forum data.

Q: Is Snapster leaving?
A: Are you kidding? He’s out the door about ten seconds after that check clea- that is to say, Snapster will continue as Woot.com CEO, just like before, and the rest of our staff’s not going anywhere either. Woot and all our various sites will continue to be an independently operated company full of horrible, useless products and an untalented jerkface writing staff, same as it ever was.

Q: Will the Woot culture change?
A: Amazon is interested in us because they recognize the value of our people, our brand, and our unique style of deep-tissue, toxin-releasing massage. And they don’t want to start changing things now. Amazon’s hoping our nutty Woot steez continues to grow and develop (and perhaps even rubs off on them a little). They’re not looking to have their folks come in and run Woot unless we ask them to, which incidentally you can do by turning off the bathroom lights and saying the word “Kindle” three times; a helpful Amazon employee will appear in the mirror. That said, Amazon clearly knows what they’re doing in a lot of areas, so we’re geeked about the opportunities to tap into that knowledge and those resources, especially on the technology side. This is about making the Woot brand, culture, and business even stronger than it is today, and we expect that any changes will be for the better or we wouldn’t bother with this endless paperwork.

Q: Where can I get one of those vuvuzelas?
A: Are you even paying attention?
Several months ago, when we were all sitting on Jeff Bezos’s bumper drinking orange Mad Dog and trying not to be noticed, we heard a voice in the distance yelling “You kids better not scratch my Mercedes or I’m calling the cops!” We ran. It was later that night when Amazon came by the house and said they liked our style and also wanted to get that money we owed them for messing up the chrome. We like to think that our relationship with Amazon will continue at this level for many, many, many years to come.
But we here at Woot are still a thoughtful company, so, at the end of the day, I watched the sunset, and its golden-hued glory made me think about two questions:

1) Is there really a universal deity?

2) Does such a thing preclude free will or are we humans in control of our own destiny?

After spending a lot of time falling asleep at the library while facing the philosophy books, I determined that the concept of destiny is a construct that allows man a gentle release from facing the terror of his existence, and that a Hyundai full of twenties would pretty much offer the same benefits. And so, I ultimately said YES!

This is definitely an emotional day for me. The feelings I’m experiencing are similar to what I felt in college on graduation day: excitement about getting a check from my folks combined with nausea from a hellacious bender the night before. I remember fondly that time when an RA turned on the lights and yelled “WHO OWNS THESE PANTS?” Except this time, the pants are a company, and the RA is you, and the sixty five hours of community service is a deal that will ensure the Woot.com experience can continue to grow for years and years and years, like a black mold behind the Gold Box. Join us, because together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son. Also, there will be six muffins waiting in the company break room, courtesy of the nice folks at Amazon.com. Welcome to the family!

Matt Rutledge
CEO, Woot

Currently in development, expected release date: November 19, 2010.

You know how people say “Live each day as if it was your last” and if this happens to be my last day on earth, I’ll know why. It may have something to do with my dinner(s). You see, normal people live to meet celebrities and their idols. For the past few years I’ve been dying to meet a Luther Burger. In Vladville, Luther Burger is greater than Tim Tebow. No joke.

Few years ago, the Luther Burger made an appearance on The Jay Leno Show and ever since I saw this monstrosity I knew I had to live long enough to kill it. It’s basically a bacon cheeseburger between a Krispy Kreme doughnut. Yeah, it’s about 1,000 calories. The place that made it (Mulligan’s in Decatur, GA) was also popular for another signature dish: hamdog. It’s a hot dog wrapped in ground beef, fried, topped with a fried egg, cheese, bacon, chili, onion and more cheese. Somehow, Mulligans went out of business and with it the dream of eating something that would likely cut a few years off my life.

Until tonight. Matt from Ostrich IT recommended The Gravity Pub. You can follow them on Twitter @GravityPub. According to Jessica (bartender, absolutely gorgeous fwiw) when Mulligan’s closed, one of their cooks came aboard and these are their tribute sandwiches.  

Alternate angles, just in case. The enormity of these sandwiches is hard to describe.

Alternate angle. OK, I have to explain this one. The hamdog is a hot dog engulfed in ground beef and then deep fried. What you’re seeing there (round) is the hot dog and the grey area around it is ground beef.

This is where most people would stop.

But I made my wife two promises. 1. Till death (Sorry hon, you’re screwed, I’m still alive) and 2. Eat some Varsity onion rings before coming home.

So from The Gravity Pub to The Varsity in Downtown Atlanta.

Two hot dogs, onion rings and of course, a diet coke.

I have to be honest with you, 2009 was not a great year for me personally. Dealing with a growing business in which every new client exposes another inadequacy and the growth pains was not fun. Remaining positive during that period was challenging and anything but fun – I would go on the road where day in and day out I got negative feedback and then back to the hotel room to fix it. It takes a lot of positivity and self motivation (considering all the money) to handle the criticism for so long and so personally.. but I’m a big boy, I worked like a dog and now everyone loves us.

In 2010.. I challenged myself to enjoy road trips and what I do. Being able to travel for business is one of the best parts of my job and I wanted it to be more than airport, suit & tie, hotel, conference, airport. So far, I love my life.

Enjoy the pictures.

One thing I’ve learned in blogging is: given a large audience, no matter what you say, you will offend someone. Yesterday I posted a hint that we’re opening a UK office and since then I got some hate mail about being un-American and asked how I dare spend money abroad while people here are starving. (the answer is simple: the people abroad buy our services which keep less people that work at OWN in USA from starving). But logic doesn’t work with idiots, so I did what an American idiot would do: I went to KFC. Enjoy:

For more information, please see www.kfc.com/doubledown. Somehow they managed to make the grilled one worse than the deep fried version (less cals/fat, more sodium) which in itself deserves a bow. When done watching me eat, hit this blog up: This is why you’re fat .

Really high.. 30,000 feet high! I’m on my way to Baltimore for MSP University bootcamp, flying my favorite airline, Airtran. Airtran is pretty much a bus with jets, a step above Greyhound and a step below BlueJet. But when you need to get somewhere (and I mean get there without delays and broken planes or visiting mother@#% Charlotte, they are the best). 

And now they have wi-fi onboard during the flight. $9.99 for the trip, $69 for the first class upgrade. Gotta love it.

Speaking of MSPU, if you’re already up there and a fan of the blog (or better yet a client of OWN) email me at vlad@vladville.com – I’m buying dinner tonight.

This is shaping up to be a long week @OWN. Here is something that brightened my day a little, I felt compelled to share it as most of my good stuff now ends up in the SPAM Show anyhow

Swine flu fun… enjoy