This is shaping up to be a long week @OWN. Here is something that brightened my day a little, I felt compelled to share it as most of my good stuff now ends up in the SPAM Show anyhow

Swine flu fun… enjoy

But you can’t have both. Shameless Pimping Hall of Fame entry #295,392,923,592:

Courtesy of Alex Roy from RoyAl Technology Management.

Perfect Vendor Relationships: Pay me. Feed me. STFU.

Oh yeah, NSFW btw. Comments?

Another beautiful day in Florida, it’s a great time to be alive. And it’s always great to be a Florida Gator. As the reigning champions we need to fill our quota of smack talk so today I would like to address something I am asked frequently.

What the heck is a Sooner? What does Ohio State roadkill taste like? What happens with the elephant mascot from the overhyped Alabama season once Florida is through with it?

I now have an answer for you:

It’s delicious! Southeastern Conference, the tradition of hate continues I know, I know, it seems a bit much… but I gotta stock up snacks for my boy that’s going to be out on the road the next two weeks.

Founders of the popular torrent web site, thepiratebay.org, were found guilty of keeping record and software companies around by making a system that enabled their fans to pirate copyright materials and still make their business models and products relevant. Each gets a million dollar fine and a year in a Swedish prison (made by IKEA, so they just gotta find the side of the prison made of a 1/8″ MDF composite board to kick through and go home)

In a related story, Microsoft loses 99% of the Windows Vista Ultimate installations and Adobe loses 99% of the Adobe Creative Suite 4 market share. Turns out, less than 1% of the population with Internet access is stupid enough to spend the kind of money these companies are asking for their flagshit (it’s a typo, really!) products.

It’s Friday – cheer up!

The other day I was bitching to someone about how I am seeing more and more Dilbert comics that resemble my life – except I’m now the Pointy Haired Boss, or at least I think like one:

True story, this morning one of the guys tells me that something can’t be done in PHP and he wrote it in Visual Studio instead. Once I explained to him how inclined I am to ever give Microsoft even a penny of our money, or develop software that would require us to pay Microsoft licensing revenue…. I got greeted by this Dilbert comic. fml.

Now, this cheered up my day. It’s nice to see when even our partners recognize that customers demands can at times be batsh** insane. They proposed the following solution when ExchangeDefender functionality became to burdensome:

I wonder that MSRP would be on CPaaS?

http://digg.com/world_news/The_Silent_Minority_The_Non_Religious

Someone provided the following comment at digg:

So the next time some mormons/jehovah’s witnesses/christians come to your door preaching the bible, go ahead and pull out your biochemistry/computer science/math text books and preach that ***** loud and proud.

Now here is where it gets awesome. Check out one of the followup comments:

And the binary tree said unto its many nodes:

Rejoice in the root node, for it is the beginning of all. No matter your node size, the root node loves you all.

Asked the leaf node:

Am I my sibling’s keeper.

Said the binary tree said to the lowly leaf:

Nay, for your tree is sorted and thus it is your ancestor node who is the designator of your sibling’s position.

If you don’t find this funny, you aren’t a programmer

I’ve sort of made a career bashing Mac users. It backfired in Apple buying me a Mac Air! Thanks. So I figured I ought to push my luck and ask for a Lamborghini Murcielago.

And last week it made it here. Orange too!

Though it wasn’t quite the $300,000 car but a 1:16 diecast model, from my buddy Jon Coles at itlifesupport.com in UK. You’ll be happy it has gone on my shelf of dreams.

Gotta dream big I guess. It’s either going to motivate you or beat you down. It all depends on what you want from life.

Earlier tonight Katie and I were shopping for a house in Maui. I know, I know.

Here is the one we settled on:

We’re going to have to move a few more ExchangeDefender mailboxes… check it out, only 18 million. American dollars.

Soo… this one goes in the WTF category if there was one:

California NOW: Tax Workshop for Strippers & Sex Workers:

http://www.canow.org/canoworg/2009/02/tax-workshop-for-strippers-sex-workers.html

Topics for discussion include the pros and cons of income and tip reporting, what receipts to save and what records to keep, how to write off expenses for costumes, shoes, sex toys, computers, cell phones, etc.

The most hilarious part? Organized by “California National Organization For Women – Working to advance the women & girls of California”

Now I know many women, from very liberal to very feminist, some even in the industry that this workshop is geared for, and I’m absolutely certain none of them would consider this to be working towards the goal of advancement.

I sooooo want to be there for the Q&A!!!

The funniest part? I got this from Ms. Susan Bradley.

Few weeks ago I was blogging or twittering (can’t really find the thread) about how much I liked MacBook Air but how I would never buy one because 800 pixel vertical resolution just wasn’t good enough for me.

Earlier today, a MacBook Air showed up in my Orlando office. Not sure who sent it, but thank you. I appreciate it.

Now on to another, more pressing topic.

I really, really, really love the new convertible Lamborgini Murcielago. Absolutely, in Gator Orange too!!!

However, I can’t afford to change my current vehicle because the baby seat can’t fit into the passenger seat.

If anyone from Sant’ Agata Bolognese would like to change my mind, I’ll even come over and pick it up….