Have you ever been to a Best Buy and just left the place floored at how knowledgeable or expert the staff there is?

If you have, someone must be reading this post to you because there is NO way you can read.

Best Buy is to computer experts what Apple Genius is to a winner of a Nobel Prize in Physics. But when you need a power cord or an Xbox controller today, Best Buy is awesome and their college dropouts stuck working retail and living with their partents Geek’s sure know how to point in the right direction (sometimes).

Which makes the following cease and desist letter even funnier (click on the thumbnail for the full size).

Here is the best part:

“We also recently learned that Newegg is running a commercial on television and Youtube depicting a blue-shirted salesperson in a store with a similar layout/color scheme to a Best Buy Store, so as to represent a Best Buy employee. The fake Best Buy employee is depicted as being slovenly and uniformed about computer products, in contrast to your employees who are portrayed as “experts””

Oh boy.

This is a textbook case of how not to settle a dispute.

First, no matter what you do, every cease and desist letter your company sends will be blasted all over the Internet – and mind you that this is not a real dispute – it’s one bunch of marketing weiners upset about being picked on by another bunch of marketing weiners. It could have been solved by putting the two parties in a room for an hour or so with a gallon of water – they would have reached a settlement in record time after realizing that a room full of marketing people can’t figure out how to work a door knob. But I digress.

Second, Best Buy owns a trademark on the Geek Squad. They are trying to shut down a Newegg marketing campaign that uses the word Geek (power icon) On. Umm. That’s not how the trademark law works.

Third, “Best Buy is concerned that Newegg’s use of the Geek On Logo is likely to create confusion among consumers and to dilute the distinctive quality of the Geek Squad Mark..” – Come ooooon! Now I know this was written by a marketing person. There is no distinctive quality to Geek Squad, it’s a laughing stock of the IT profession. If there was a confusion over Best Buy (overpriced and outdated electronics vs. other defunct business models of: CD store, DVD store, etc) and Newegg model – which focuses on low price, feedback from thousands of other people that bought the item, direct links to the manufacturers and prompt shipping – it would only help improve Best Buy not hurt it.

Competition

The competition that Best Buy has with NewEgg is something that we as IT Solution Providers need to think about and watch closely. For the most part, cloud solutions are newegg – fast, agile, low overhead. IT Solution Providers on the other hand are brick and mortar, local establishments that work in the community.

But if your community is not aware of your effort, and the cloud thing is cheaper.. then what’s your value?

While the dispute between Best Buy and NewEgg is somewhat comical, the background is a real concern on the mind of many MSPs that I talk to on a daily basis – Microsoft’s launch of Office 365 will put a lot of MSPs on defense because direct marketing is so powerful. The whole notion of a “trusted” advisor is very difficult to assert when your client starts thinking that you’re robbing them when you provide so much more than the supposed flyer seems to be charging for.

Options seem clear: Start sending C&D letters with full assurance that you’ll be mocked for them online or start marketing your local expertise and value that delivers. I (and we) get a lot of our partners marketing materials and it’s shocking how few (almost none) of you stress the local part.

Let me first admit that I thank my lucky stars that I am nearly never the hiring manager for any roles at Own Web Now. In order for me to make you an offer, you need to come really highly recommended and report directly to me. I think in the past 2 years I’ve hired the grand total of two of such people, both of whom many of you have talked to. Everyone else gets hired through the proper channels and the purpose of this blog post is to familiarize you with the process that will most likely lead to you getting hired. This post is meant for the job seekers only/

For what it’s worth, what finally cracked the camels back was Karl SmbBooks.com picking on me while I was putting on about 5 fires on a Monday afternoon, none of which I needed to fight. I am hiring a person to give Karl sh%% on Mondays.

Understand the Employer

First, understand that the very reason you are looking at an ad, instead of getting in on a friends recommendation, is that company could not find a suitable candidate through other social means. It costs a lot less money to search for job roles than to put up an ad, filter for responses and criteria, wait for a week – not to mention double the cost of putting up an ad.

Second, understand that there are generally over 100 people that will apply for any given job, most of whom are completely unqualified. In the first pass the objective is not to find the shining star but to filter out the collection of unemployed people that are on the street for a reason. That may sound harsh but it is something that you control, not the employer. If you color your resume pink, your resume will not be read. If you didn’t include a cover page, your resume will not be read. Remember that the people reviewing your qualification to work are looking to mitigate risk, not introduce it! If you don’t follow proper channels, you don’t get considered. If you don’t follow the proper business etiquette, you don’t get considered. Why? Because you are being hired to work in a business as a professional.

Final and most important factor: This is a sales job. Deal with it. If you want a job in the private sector you need to come to terms that you are asking people for money and you need to focus on answering the question of why I should give you money instead of a few hundred other people. AIDA. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. In every minute that you are talking to a potential hiring manager you need to be closing. You need to be asking more questions than the person hiring you.

What can I do for you?

Which one of my job responsibilities so far did you find most appealing? Let me tell you how I can implement them to help you!

What is the first task I will be responsible for?

How do I make more money with your company?

There is nothing more awkward than a job interview where the candidate doesn’t have any questions. Ever notice how when people interview you keep on asking open ended questions, ask you about your skills, your responsibilities, your goals? The idea is to get you to start talking so you can immediately showcase yourself as someone that can handle not being micromanaged to death. This tells the employer if you are the kind of a person that is going to seek out problems to fix and be able to handle them, or if you are the person that is going to wait around to be told what to do and when.

Unfortunately for you, if you aren’t an extroverted go getter, you will be working at a fast food joint. The world of business is far too competitive to settle and if your job description can be boiled down to a bullet point / Karl’s Checklist, your job will be done in a third world country.

Who do I want to hire….

My ideal employee is Vanilla Ice. Why?

“If there was a problem,

yo – I’ll solve it.”

It’s really as simple as that. You know all of those Dilbert terms people tack on at the bottom of a job description?

Self Motivated. Self Starter. Ability to work on multiple tasks. Great communicator a plus.

Those are not empty words meant to fill out a job posting. Those have a real meaning. Your job, regardless of who you are trying to work for, is to reduce the problems and hassle. Not to introduce them. Sell me on the fact that you are not going to be an issue. Tell me that you can handle your life so it doesn’t interfere with your job.

I have a handful of people that I can give a task or a problem and never hear about it. They find the resources, they put together a solution, they contact the client and explain the issue, they get their s@#$ done.

Who do I not want to hire….

Now, some of these may seem obvious. All the more reason to take the stuff I’ve written so far to heart and put yourself as far away from the rest of the unemployed masses. Let’s play a game, shall we? Tell me what’s wrong with this resume:

If you guessed “This moron didn’t even take the time to look at the resume template and put in their name on their resume” you’ve guessed correctly. Congratulations!

This could be just a rookie mistake, however, it shows me that you lack attention to detail. And since your “Functional Role” is that of a Project Manager or IT Manager, you’d lead my company towards a disaster. No, thanks.

Other reasons why you don’t get a followup….

The email address you applied from belongs to your current employer. Not only does this put all kinds of legal questions in my mind, it shows me that you have no loyalty. Why should I bother investing in training and motivating you if you’re already telling me that you’re willing to use company resources for private matters.

The resume did not contain a cover letter. The cover letter is your opportunity to sell me on giving you a call. If you do not have a cover letter I am assuming you don’t actually want this job, you’re just applying for it because it seemed to fit your qualifications and the salary could sustain you. I am going to let you in on a little secret. You are not going to walk off the street into an executive position. You are going to have to put in the time, effort and show true passion for the job and for the company in order for the people whose money is at stake to trust you with the direction. That takes a lot of trust. That takes a lot of effort. That takes a lot of dedication. You showed none, resume deleted.

You decided to call me, fax me, IM me or go through any means other than those specified on the job application. To some this may mean you are driven, dedicated and ambitious. Not to me. This world is full of overambitious jackasses who feel the rules do not apply to them – they do. By being “special” you are identifying yourself as someone that cannot follow the rules.

The resume was pink, red or otherwise lacking proper business sense. I love German Shepherds. Not in a way that only a Bama fan loves a farm animal, but in a sense that I’ve grown up around them and consider them to be a great companion. But when I am putting a business proposal I don’t happen to put a picture of my dog front and center on the proposal. I also don’t paint it blue. Things that work on myspace do not work in the work space.

Finally, and most importantly….. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. ALWAYS:

You are being hired by a growing company in a competitive field that has customers in over 140 countries, over 40 data centers that has a huge global expansion scheduled for 2009 and multiple projects with huge expansion commitment on 3 continents.

You think we got here on the account of sitting back, sipping Mojito’s and relying on the kindness of strangers? If you want to hang here, pardon the expression, you need to be a hustler. I am talking to you for a reason: Do you want the job? 

Just so that we are clear: If I’m talking to you, I am interested. Sell me. Here is someone that did it right:

Dear Mr. Mazek,
Thanks so much for getting back with me so quickly. I am quite familiar with social networking sites. I use Myspace and Facebook daily and have blogged on them before. I just signed up for a Twitter as well. I have a XXXX major and XXXX minor from XXXX University which perfectly correlates with this position.  My communication skills are top notch and my computer skills are quite advanced.  I am interested in hearing more about the position and your organization.  Please let me know if you need anymore information from me.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXX
Cell: XXXXX

What is this person doing? C L O S I N G. Here are my features. Here are my skills. Here is my education. I am interested. My number is here. Call me and give me your money!

Could this person have simply answered an innocent follow-up question without stating all the reasons why they fit the role?

Could this person have done so without making it easy for me to contact them?

Could this person have omitted proper business salutation and gotten straight to the point?

It’s the little things that separate professionals from the unemployed. In order to be trusted with business you have to show that you would run it and manage it as if it was your own money on the line.

A little bit of motivation…

Despite what you may feel about corporations and hiring practices, you should understand that in the private sector you are not simply an employee, you are an investment that corporation makes in its staff. Corporation whose goal it is to make money by providing superior service, whose employees are proud of what they deliver and are constantly striving to move that company forward. Those employees understand that the more successful company gets, the more successful they get, and the closer they get to their dream job.

If, on the other hand, you look at this as a game of numbers and a fight to be won or lost, you won’t go far. If you don’t take care of the house, the house won’t take care of you. You’ll just be angry and depressed with each passing day in which you are not getting your way and aren’t doing anything constructive to get to it.

It’s a tough economy in a tight market and only the best are still around and fighting while most are stuck trying to figure out how to meet payroll numbers. If you want to play in this market, as opposed to being the next job to be chopped and sent to India, you need to step your game up and show some leadership.

The other day you got to read about some motivational buffoonery that is often implemented in the IT field, how to demoralize your troops with a self-congratulating motivational speaker that isn’t qualified to work in this field to begin with. In case you are not motivated to read it, in a nutshell: Don’t put idiots in front of your staff because they are smarter than that and will resent you.

The same principle of “People that work here aren’t fools..” applies to the communication on corporate change. Takeover. Sale. Bankruptcy. Financial problems. High profile layoffs, legal problems, going concerns. Larger companies have to state their going concerns (or in plain terms “ah, crap”) every quarter in their financial paperwork, but smaller companies resort to a smaller and more inappropriate way of doing this: bullshit through rumors. That’s the business term for it, trust me, I went to a business school.

How does BTR work? Well, instead of being honest and up front with your staff, you call in a meeting and just start dropping hints about what is coming without being explicitly clear about it. Things like, “Our property has appreciated 800% over the past three years, so we will have some realtors around to give us an idea of exactly what its worth. Oh, I am also going to be flying to New York for about a week on business, in my absence Marcy will run the operations.” Then Marcy takes the post after the big boss leaves and she gets to answer the question if we’re for sale. She denies it, because even she may not know, meanwhile the big boss starts showing up less and less at the office. Rumors start to fly, and there is nothing like a business that is held together by collective fear of uncertainty.

Lesson: Never bs your people. They are on your side. Screw them once and you have enemies for life, making it virtually certain you can’t come back to the same market.

Is it natural for business owners to have to lie? Well, kindda; maybe not be as forthcoming about whats going on? Sure. You don’t want to break a deal just because the rumors get out because you spelled out every detail of the upcoming transaction. You also don’t want your best people looking for a new job because the last deal you spoke so highly of fell through and now they don’t get their golden parachutes. But there is a happy middle. For example, I always say we are not for sale. I always say there is no interest in going public. Knowing full well that I would catapult OWN to the moon if the price were right. This is something that is discussed though, not swept under the rug. Are you in a for profit business? Say it. Does the property you sit on have an offer on it that is higher than the profits the business will generate over the next five years? Sell it. But don’t pull dirty tricks when you do it. Don’t send your 162 workers home for refurbishments for a week, and then a day later announce that you’ve sold the biz, closed operations and here’s two months salaries — good luck finding jobs in the tourist area during off season, we’re going to Bahamas!

That is exactly what Dolly Parton did, and its what IT companies do all the time, completely preoccupied with politics, scheming and moving all the while not having any respect for people that work for them. We’re not in days of Al Chainsaw anymore, throw that stale “Big Tales From Management Nightmares” book out the window and treat people right. Food for thought: Al “Chainsaw” Dunlap guys are no longer around, but office shootings are on the rise.

Recently I asked our local IT Pro group about Microsoft sales folks getting more and more desperate. I can't blame them, with their options wasting away through product delays they have to move more product. I brought this story to my ITPRO group and asked how local consultants engaged their clients to provide them with a liason with Microsoft's ever-confusing licensing. How do you make your clients understand their need to comply with legal software licensing? Todays response, completely attributable to Robert Belon, nearly knocked me out of my chair:

Hi I am all that stands between you and the "JAWS" of the software police. Your next stop on this License roller-coaster is a jail cell occupied by Luther "the ass-monkey" Smith.  Can I exercise some of your corporate dollars from the bank vault now??? – Robert Belon

Now thats what I call an elevator pitch! Eric, the domain is still available

Last paragraph is not for the faint of heart, you've been warned. Eric Ligman, the only person at Microsoft capable of explaining licensing, has posted about the NFR software and the few famous posts that we've drilled Microsoft over. He's in a firing mood, hopefully none of the PCM's get on his bad side today. To sum it up, he explains exactly what you're buying with the now infamous offer by Surplus Computers, which by the way still has SBS Premium available for $169. Eric breaks the offer down and explains what you're buying. Pretty entertaining read, even if you're not excited by Licensing. I do have a comment and a suggestion: Comment: It's not the Small Business Specialist going into the shop and selling SBS NFR to the customer. It's the customer hiring the Small Business Specialist to come and install SBS they purchased online. Illegal? You bet. But that Small Business Consultant has to eat. Will he starve for Bill Gates and walk away from the questionable (and illegal) software license, or will he turn the blind eye to how the software ended up in the customers hands and just finish configuring the network for the DIY business owner? Thats a bet for Microsoft to answer, considering the Surplus Computer still has this item on sale it appears clear that there may not be a punishment for this. Are you starting to see the problem with the NFR software now? Even if you are a bystander, everything you do and touch has a percieved value. Let's say you looked away as they installed $1,500 worth of software for $169. What do you think your chances are on upselling this client the time upgrade cycle comes around? Furthermore, what are your chances of collecting on the large job from that client when you already know they are a thief. Think they'll stop at taking money from Bill Gates? Ethics and integrity tend to disagree. Question: $150,000? What $150,000? The assumption that there is the $150,000 penalty for piracy is largely ignored by the business owner because there doesn't appear to be any punishment. Let me quote my college law professor:

"Law is only as valid as its enforcement." – Robert Emerson

If you don't enforce the piracy punishment, it becomes an acceptable practice. It is Microsoft's software, Microsoft's task to enforce. Partners should do their fair bit too, but partnership requires action on both sides. I've documented my actions and Microsoft has officially sued 30 companies. The people I reported? Still up and running. Vlad Advisory Services Bill, Steve.. this one is on me. How do we solve this problem? Well, Eric Ligman is famous for some very funny sites that help you show clients the value of Microsoft software, namely: lessthanfries.com and lessthancoffee.com. So whats our problem here Mr. Ligman? We don't have enough ways to show people that they might get punished for being pirates. Here are some of the names I would suggest for the piracy awareness campaign Microsoft should launch: wouldyoulikekywiththat.com – Show a pirate bent over in a prison cell. bitethepillownfrbitch.com – Same as the above. andyouthoughtSBSSP1wasbad.com – Same as the above but with a pimp smack. whosthebanditnow.com – I'm afraid of describing this one. andyouthoughtpassingaroundthevolumekeywasfun.com – Exceeds the domain size but its a fun line anyhow. Oh, double score! You get the idea. Give me a martyr, slap him on a postcard, and send me a stack of 50 to give away at the next group meeting. Seriously. Look at Microsoft Piracy center. It's such a happy nice page. Piracy isn't that bad is it? Now show me Bubba and Frank in a prison cell and a geek hiding his privates behind a NFR CD and I think most think twice before calling the activation center to get that 50th activation key for the Windows XP Pro they got at Market Pro for $60.

There are way too many lawyers. These two articles prove that. Good Technology Sued over Wireless Patents NTP, having had its patents invalidated countless times has taken a stock in Visto and opened another litigation front, this time against Good Technology. I guess they coulnd't completely drain RIM's pockets so they have taken on additional fish. Microsoft Changes Blog Shutdown Policies Yup, we're world wide with this blogging thing. Microsoft is saying that they will notify visitors when the content has been removed and will in some cases actually move it elsewhere to make local (censuring) governments happy. Nice duck and cover. Is it just me or is this censure and legal action instead of innovation becoming a little too prevalent?

I wonder how many phone calls this post is going to generate but rest assured: If you call me, I will be asking the questions. Why such a polite post? Well, it appears that our friends from SurplusComputers are back selling Microsoft Windows 2003 Small Business Server Premium NFR for $169 with free shipping. Note the NFR tag which means, ironically enough, not for resale. How does that make sense, how is someone selling software thats not for sale? You already know the answer to that question. Now riddle me this: Why has Microsoft done nothing to stop this? Here is how a fellow Microsoft Certified Partner reacted to the news of this:

How they are able to continue doing this without Microsoft coming down on them with a lawsuit I have no idea – hence my utter frustration with Microsoft. I am making this note not to inspire piracy, but rather to BEG anyone from Microsoft to please stop this. It really impairs our ability as legitimate partners to consult and deploy the product (charging $2k or more for the deployment) when the software itself can easily be obtained for $170!!! Not only that, but unethical computer people go in, sell the illegal product, and then we're called in to fix or deploy and we have to give clients the bad news that they have an illegal copy!!! I'm including the link so that Microsoft can (hopefully) take swift action.

Now what would have certainly sent Rick right over the edge would be the news that I reported this very same company to Microsoft and BSA back in October (as a matter of fact, the blog post on mssmallbiz.com is a direct consequence to us informing the Microsoft small business licensing watchdog about Surplus Computers who at the time was selling the SBS NFR for $169 and Office XP NFR with the GE mouse for $69). So lets face it – Microsoft has done nothing – yet.. I'm sorry, Surplus Direct is a major electronics outlet in United States and believe you me, it does not take months for someone in Microsoft to write a cease and desist letter. So don't deceive yourself with the "well, I am sure its happening, we are just not plugged in to the behind the scenes of Microsoft legal and licensing enforcement." We are not talking about something that started last week, last month… We are talking over three months here. So I'll get to my point: Where is Surplus Direct obtaining Microsoft NFR software? How is it that a major electronics outlet is allowed to illegaly distribute Microsoft software for months, and more importantly, where are they getting such a big stock of NFR media? Microsoft Licensing – please stand up and protect your partners and your customers before you lose both.

Now I know you've heard that expression but the folks over at Microsoft Mobile are really saying it today. Research in Motion, the maker of a popular business communication brick Blackberry, has been in a patent lawsuit for a very long time allowing Microsoft to grow and become a serious contender in the mobile business communication. However, Microsoft was always criticized for having no push support for email or centralized security for its mobile devices. All that changed with the release of Exchange 2003 SP2 which integrated management interfaces for mobile security, management, push email and more. Now the only missing piece of the puzzle is the software that goes onto the Windows Mobile device called Microsoft Mobile Security and Feature Pack (MSFP) which enables the device to work with the Exchange server to establish a security poliy, push email and get wiped remotely. Microsoft released this piece to its OEM's (guys actually making the phone or handheld device) for testing and development in November and we were told to expect it in the first quarter of 2006. But yesterday a former Microsoft partner and an ISV decided to file a lawsuit contending that technology behind MSFP is covered by their patents. They put out this press release just days after RIM lost their patent fight. Ouch, talk about karma. Now this part made me laugh because it comes on the heels of the post I wrote just yesterday:

"For more than a decade, small, innovative companies in Silicon Valley and elsewhere have lived in fear of the day Microsoft decides to enter their market," Bogosian said. "They are a big, powerful, wealthy company, but they have no real growth, even in their most profitable divisions. They want to show investors that they can sustain growth in a new, developing market, like mobile access to email and data, but they cannot be permitted to do that by misappropriating another company's intellectual property." "Innovative companies have been pummeled out of existence or into minor players after Microsoft decided to enter their markets," Bogosian added. "Netscape and RealNetworks are among the best known examples. Courts around the world have ruled time after time against Microsoft, saying that it has acted either inappropriately or in violation of the law, especially concerning how they have treated competing companies. We will not let that happen to Visto."

Now mind you, my article was written from a standpoint of a software publisher and a small business owner so my look was more on the changing face of software and big business competition. I think we all can learn and owe it to our companies to see the big picture and see how remarkably successful companies are trying to eliminate their competitors. Visto is on the receiving end of that equation, and really going after Microsoft on this one. So there is your business lesson for the day – either learn to compete and negotiate or CYA with patents and hope the lawyers you have will work on contingency basis. Good luck with the lawsuit boys, statistics are against you. And if someone has some spare cash to sue Microsoft could you please demand immediate release of MSFP? How you settle with Visto is between you and them, but I need to get my spam a lot faster than I do now. (No, I still don't have it, do not email asking for it..) Come on, someone go to Taiwan and crack the whip on HTC already!