One thing that I find impressive about Las Vegas is that every time I go back it seems to be a different city. The expansion and buildout is just incredible.

People change too. A few years ago you would walk down the strip and bump into Mexicans handing out stripper callcards just a foot or two away from an evangelical Christian throwing profanities at people passing by in short skirts, warning about the end of time, cause thats what Jesus would have done. The crazy Jesus guy has been replaced by the Ron Paulbots, which appear more mindless, antagonizing, insane and confrontational than even the Jesus guy ever was. The stripper mexicans are still there but they are looking more appropriate than ever.

But here are a few funny things. This was a convention going on at Mandalay Bay – PPAI. Promotional Products Association. This is a conference about SWAG! Huge too!

Then there was that other conference…

And finally, there was CES, perhaps the least impressive of the three. However, there was some funny stuff at the CES, courtesy of Microsoft:

This is a little childrens book that was given away as SWAG at Microsoft’s CES podium. As someone in our group mentioned, “Better get two, cause Windows Home Server won’t be around for long”, so I did. The book is just hilarious and I had to share the scans from it. “Big people have a server at the ‘office’. The ofice is a boring place where big people go and do boring things. Offices  are why big people get grumpy, and say bad words.” – Couldn’t have put it better myself, way to go WHS!

As a Microsoft fan, I have to admit, I was really downed by the whole experience. The Microsoft Zune section, which was huge, was damn near empty. The most exciting technology that people were gawking over was a table, at which a brilliant marketing person (yes, it is a double negative and it roughly translates to “moron”) pitched the table with the following feature of Microsoft Surface:

“So thats how you can learn more about the food and wine thats on your table.

But what if you wanted to be social? Here you can pull up your friends onli..”

Err, what about just talking to the people at your table? I guess thats in Surface 2.0. Talk about a divorcemaker. Can you imagine heading to a restaurant with your wife and in the middle of her story you start checking your email and the pr0n spam pops up at the same time as the 16 year old is putting food on your table? Now you’re being sued for alimony, sexual harrassment… Maybe Surface 2.0 could have a quick LawyerFinder hotspot, so you can immediately get representation from someone familiar with MS Surface.

Overall, the CES was very underwhelming. Frankly, major sections of it looked like Computer Pro shows that travel the country and sell offbrand broken/stolen second hand equipment to unsuspecting audiences at county fairs and third rate venues. CES did have better lighting tho. It also had about 200 booths selling carrying cases and stickers for your cell phone and iPod. The big crown of the event was the 150” Plasma TV. This thing was large, obscenely large, yet beautiful. The rest of the TVs… meh… They made them bigger and thinner. It was about as unpredictable as Steve Jobs wardrobe.

There was only one thing that really caught my eye for the most obscene, most useless invention ever that I just have to have it. They riced out a Corvette and put Saturn logos on it – four screens, one seat. Thats right, they destroyed a likely $60,000 car and put in a bunch of electronics but yanked the passenger seat.

Yay for progress!

The upcoming weekend, in no particular order:

• Organize the Microsoft UM/UC event in Orlando
• Bug hunt the bug fix release of ExchangeDefender
• Tape the buildout of the Hackintosh
• Post the Exchange 2007 SP1 screenshots and the new Activesync policy pushed to the device as a result; talk about new limits
• Draft the damn support portal code of conduct, internal or external.
• Hook up Xbox 360 to the Home Server
• Flash Katie’s phone
• Get a bigger grill

Now I realize there is going to be a bit of skepticism as I say this, given that its being posted at 1AM, but how organized is your life? In the long long ago, I would get my few hours of sleep and as soon as I got a chance to relax and close my eyes another idea would pop into my head. I’d run back to the office to try it just for a minute, and three hours later I was back in bed. Repeat.

I mentioned this bit of insanity/insomnia to Karl and he asked if I ever thought about keeping a notebook next to my bed to just write things down and then attack them in the morning.

That little bit of “why are you an idiot, Vlad?” has saved me a few years of life, a little bit of sanity and then some. And now I’m passing it on to you. Enjoy.

Go

Gators

It’s that time of the year… my wife (pictured below) goes on an excruciating month long journey of trying to find a present for me that I haven’t already bought.

So please comment… what would you like for Christmas? What are the geek essentials this year? (assume nothing from Apple because I don’t roll that way)

Woke up quick at about noon,

Just thought that I had to be in Orlando soon?

Ok, enough with NWA references but this probably means I can no longer make fun of Erick Simpson’s Compton back yard, I got my own little thugville here in Orlando. #1 in forclosures, #11 in murders.

Hell, even cops shoot other cops here!

So bring your kids to Orlando’s fine tourist attractions, they can meet Mickey Mouse and Spungebob Squarepants, just make sure you don’t go to the three o’clock parade, anytime you see a car creeping up with a bunch of people on the back of it you know some violence is about to go down.

The consumer yawn over the big “Black Friday” sale grows louder and louder. Interestingly enough, nowhere is this more pronounced than in technology, the one thing people are actually willing to part with big sums of money for.

This year.. looks pretty pathetic. It is dominated by large screen television sets, which by the look of things just look way out of touch. Nobody is sitting around thinking they could use an extra TV in the game room for $1,000 or more. Meanwhile, the “laptops” they are trying to push this holiday season aren’t even appropriate for the third world use - get this, they are selling a Celeron with 512mb ram with Vista for $229. Good lord, and you think people hate Vista now, wait till they crank it on that Celery on battery-saving mode.

Looking at my inbox this late at night it appears I am the only person that has taken the Veterans Day off or perhaps noticed it even exists. In United States this is both the federal and state holiday which usually means everything but the food/movies is closed… but not today – not only is everything wide open, nobody seems to have noticed it with the exception of the furniture store, car dealership and the local news stations – which ran a mention of it after the obviously retarded lady torturing an animal in the 3 day line waiting for the IKEA store opening, deportation debate and organ donor story.

Shame on you Orlando.

I’m probably the first one to say that the respect is earned. I understand you may not support the war. I understand you may not support the president with the lowest approval rating ever or the vice president that just had impeachment articles introduced against him. I understand that our government has flushed our civil liberties down the toilet. I understand that this has turned into a commercial nation that (as a result of the above f…ups has tanked our economy) cannot take a single day off but that does not warrant not even acknowledging this one day a year to thank the people that have died in combat, served to keep us safe, to make it possible to sit for three days in an IKEA store opening line. I understand. But apathy is not an excuse for lack of respect and gratitude.

To those of  you that served, made a sacrifice and even died to allow me to live the way I do.. Thank you.

One small step for a nail place…

One big step towards making IT less of a saussagefest.

Way to go ladies!

Ironic that I would say that out loud but people have just been killing me all this week with their Out of Office responses. Particularly UK people. Here are a few samples.

I will be out of office till September, please contact xyz.

I am on my annual vacation from Jul 20 – Aug 20th.

A month long vacation? Now this hurts particularly bad given that I am here on a Friday working like a dog because I took Wednesday off to go to Miami. How come we don’t have it this good in USA? Aren’t we supposed to be the worlds laziest nation right after islands in the carribean?

They don’t teach you stuff like this in business school. The worst part of owning your own business is sitting in your office and realizing that you can’t quickly turn around and say “Fuck this, I quit.”

One of those days.. The only thing that stopped me from burning this place in the end was a stroll past 4 Ferrari’s in the office building. I don’t think any amount of money is worth dealing with general (or gross, complete, unlimited) incompetence, but yet again Ferrari saves the day.

Nice view, too. If you can see through the smog thats the Griffith observatory on the right and the Hollywood sign on the left.