Great to Meh

IT Culture
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One of the more unpleasant parts of running a business is that you get introduced to a ton of business drivel books that pick an outcome and find specific cases to work backwards to somehow prove a theory. People reading them feel good because the content reaffirms their common sense and attitude towards business. So much for Good to Great, if you haven’t read it, don’t bother.

But I thought it would be nice for someone to write the opposite.

Give me “Great to Meh” or “How I lost it all trading options” – I don’t want to read about how great and awesome people are, I want to find out how people failed tremendously so I can avoid being one of those suckers.

So here is my “Great to Meh” moment of the past month.

We’re building this incredible new product. We think it’s going to change this space significantly.

We are working with our usual suppliers, usual hardware, proven software.

But the empire starts to crumble on the most unforseen of tasks.

So the model of the motherboard changed and the vendor assured us it was the same thing. We verified the specs and agreed that it was the same beast.

Everything was the same. Except for the layout. The 4 pin ATX power feed was 4 inches to the left, making the case power 2″ too far away.

I’ll spare you the fact that we paid 4x as much for shipping for each extension cable as we intended to.

What we also did not account for was the new layout in the new 2U SuperMicro chasis that replaced the old one. So when we went to order the same old 180 degree SAS drive data cables because the 90 degree ones overlapped some ports on the old chasis… well, you can tell where this goes. The 180 degree cables protruded out of the 2U cases, back to the parts order page.

So what did we learn today…

First, never trust sales people when they tell you nothing has changed. Order one instead of a pallet.

Second, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give people an ETA. No matter how well planned, how well organized or sure you are about a certain outcome there are forces working against you. Unless thing is up and running and sucking down power and has been burned in for at least 3 days, it’s just a concept.

Third, pick a person of authority in your organization that has the final say on yay/nay. Everything heard, read, seen or implied elsewhere should take a huge distant second place to the person in charge, preferably you.

Fourth, count the amount of positive feedback from this. Write a crappy business book and sell it to Karl. Failure in technology business is the norm, not success, so you would be better served learning how to avoid the biggest mistakes failures of this business took. Learn from your mistakes – wouldn’t it be more fun to learn it without making those mistakes in the first place? 🙂 Absolutely, but nobody would buy such a book, people read for personal fulfillment not to be put through gut wrenching nightmares about how it can all go wrong. I am not sure how to explain the audience this blog gets….. I attribute most of it to my masterful spellling and grammar skills.

Bits and Bytes

SMB
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I’ve finally almost caught up with my email. That seems to be the perpetual state of my existence lately, I guess I’m famous. But almost, yes, almost got all my mail and issues all taken care of. Training up the new MonkeyForce has been a bitch, if I were a loser I’d probably just quit right now and say we’re not going to grow anymore but far too many of you know where I live and if the monkeys stop hitting delete there will be a pitchfork army at my door by the evening.

Phew, what a relief. Dodged e-myth prophecy once again!

And now that I finally have a breather, time to get myself way in over my head again! But more about that later, here is what you’re likely missing out on:

My good friends Wayne and Robbie are doing a huge webcast to introduce those of you down under to SBS and EBS.  Registration required but a free event. They will also be taking to the road and such. Own Web Now Corp is also doing a huge show of support for SBS with a new community, check back tomorrow. No, we still won’t sell it.

I got an invitation from my partner Dana Epp introducing the AuthAnvil v2 next week. Make sure you sign up for it – now much like ExchangeDefender and all the other serious stuff there are minimums – but if you work with OWN there aren’t – you can buy it one token at a time, $20 a month. I am sure I could put another pimpnote in here.

Someone out there ran a study and found out that SPAM gets 1 response per 12,500,000 messages. It also found I have a body of a prepubescent Chinese gymnastics champion. Please. We get dozens of calls a day with people questioning why their UPS invoice got stuck in the SPAM queue. Do you have an account with UPS? No. Do you ship with UPS? No. And you want the UPS Invoice from heyyou@retardibetyoullopenthatexecutableattachment.com delivered to you ASAP? Every company has exactly 1 idiot that will keep ExchangeDefender around as long as there is email.

Finally, a huge apology to Garett Chipman from TVG Consulting for still waiting on a quote from me. Second one in line to Stuart Selbst from SecureMyCompany for not getting the branded panel in place for the launch of the 50 cent / gig offsite backup. Apologies to the ConnectWise and Autotask families for the lagging SM integration projects, everyone waiting on Shockey Monkey, Vanderbilt, MonkeyForce, people waiting for the newsletter, James Cash, the angry UK villagers that didn’t get their invoices AGAIN and everyone else that stuck with me while I worked like a migrant fruit picker to staff and train this company through another growing pain point. Oh and Susan Bradley for working as my administrative assistant and getting me everything I asked for over the past month! Flowers are on the way.

Inspiration

Awesome
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To all those of you that wondered if the entrepreneurial spirit will get squashed with the idea of higher taxes, wonder no more. Just hit Play below and tell me you aren’t going to work just a little bit harder today.

The harder you work the more you get. Go and do likewise gents. The money is out there, pick it up its yours, if you don’t I got no sympathy for you.

Predicting The Next Apple Commercial

Microsoft
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It’s (almost) Friday so let’s try a little humor.

Who wants to predict the next Apple commercial? You can see them all here, as Apple’s PR and marketing are as big of a product as the iPhone and OS X.

So in tradition of taking infinite potshots at every misguided Microsoft marketing attempt, I think Apple will mock the new Microsoft ads titled “I’m a PC” where ordinary people upload 5 second webcam clips of themselves about how unique they are and how they use a PC, implying (in my humble opinion correctly) that Mac users are pretty much all the same drones.

How do I see this going down? Mac guy walks into the PC guy trying to tape a commercial. The kicker is that the PC guy is weird, obnoxiously pixelated and totally out of context with it’s message.

Where does Apple go with it from there?

“You know PC, Apple Theatre Displays with high resolution…”

“PC, you should get a MacBook with integrated high resolution video and iSight…”

“Why not use any of the latest HDTV cameras… oh, driver problems?

Microsoft is spending $300 million… so far it doesn’t appear they have been able to make it count. Their new life without partners is not off to a great start, talk about taking a wrong moment in the IT cycle to sink your advocates battleship. When your flagship product is on the ropes, you struggle in all measurable Web 2.0 categories and publicly admit at PDC that you’re playing catchup with technology others offer SLAs for and you can’t even preview…

It would seem they would have spent more time trying to make friends than enemies. Benioff is pretty much right on the money, Microsoft – wake up.

Role Hires

IT Business, IT Culture
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0_61_palin_sarahThanks to the elections in Unites States a fair amount of public discussion has taken place over just who should be the leader. The smartest? The most competent? The most experienced? The toughest? Or someone that reflects the average man – Joe Six Pack that you can have a beer with and debate whether Africa is a continent or a country?

Who cares, isn’t the election over?

It’s a little bit bigger than that. Election cycle gives you an incredible insight into what drives people, what motivates them, what they fear the most and what they believe to be the solution to their problem.

As IT solution providers our job is generally to identify the problems and propose solutions. Some of us are wildly successful at identifying the true problems clients face. Some of us just suck at getting that information from our clients. Just asking people what they don’t like about their technology is not enough. Feeding data into a junk “Solution Creator” is an OK sales tool but it doesn’t get to the bottom of the true issues our client base faces.

One of the biggest drivers behind the development of the new wave of products at OWN has been a little “Development” tab where we keep track of what our current customers demands are. This is great when it comes to finding the specific nuances in functionality from client to client, from industry to industry. But refining a solution to fit the client is easy… how do you market yourself to the kind of people that would fit your solution portfolio?

That is why most IT solution providers fail at marketing and making it big.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. The reason your clients aren’t telling you exactly what they want from you is because they likely do not consider you to be their peers and would likely not understand them. So you talk to your clients in the best business language you can muster and they respond in the most technical lingo they have picked out of their trade journals.

One thing I realized last year is that as my business grew and I grew in my IT business and then grew in my business outside of the scope of running a “technology” business I lost that familiarity that has made me so successful working with small IT shops. It has been a few years since I had left a really small IT biz way of thinking and I realized that I was no longer the loudest proponent that understood the challenges of the really small IT solution providers.

Sometimes you just have to hire the right people that speak to the right kind of the market. So I set out to find a person that was most like the majority of IT startup guys. I’m not going to open up about all the secrets but suffice to say, people open themselves up to the people that they identify as their peers – technically, business-wise.

You have to play your strengths to be the right fit for your clients needs. Otherwise you are doomed to the professional life of taking orders, being second guessed, not in the budget, a decision to be made later.

Now that is a little doomy and gloomy, so let’s talk about something positive. Where I think most people fail at and get frustrated into remaining small is the failure of their first hire. Most people think to hire the exact same kind of a person they are. Techie. Competent. Someone that can help them scale themselves by offering the same kind of a service, same kind of a technical expertise and same kind of a go-getter personality type they have.

It puzzles me is that nobody ever asks themselves as entrepreneurs why they don’t work for someone else? Why would you hire someone completely unmanageable?

There are so many pieces of advice and books written on who you should hire, who you should hire first, how you should hire and on what terms. So I will offer you the single most important piece of advice and key to success:

Do not hire on the grounds of what would make you better off, what would make your life easier and who would fit you better. Think about your customers instead. Which of your hiring prospects would work the best with your client base – who are they most likely to respect and like as a point of interaction and representation of your corporate image and your corporate values?

Style points matter. You betcha.

Mission Asscomplished

SMB
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What a lovely profane, filthy road it has been writing this blog for the past year. I would like to thank my friends Chris and Susanne, for helping with the notion that no matter how something sounded there was always a way to bring it to a new low.

It is November 4th and honestly, I’m out of ideas. I have pretty much accomplished my mission of pissing off everyone I can to the point that I can actually enjoy my life, family and business without anyone bugging me or waiting for me or thinking I’m a horrible person for not doing them a favor.

So tomorrow, this blog goes back to what it was prior to the Vlad, the worst person ever series that started last November.

Bit of background for anyone that cares: I have this personality flaw of extreme persistence and competitiveness which just so happened to be channeled in the wrong direction. I did just about everything I could to promote this blog and share the values that are important to me. It lead to a very wide readership through the blog itself, SBS Show, Shockey Monkey, Vladfire, etc. It lead to a ton of conference speaking engagements, focus groups, awards, etc. It also lead to a lot of personal anguish because there isn’t a sweat shop behind Vladville and people like to write very needy things when they need something. When and if I said no I got dragged through the dirt and had some filthy things said about me (far filthier than you’ll ever read on Vladville). I’ve singlehandedly taken more blame for Microsoft Online than even those guys did. Craig-middle-fingerI’ve been called everything from asshole to down right just the bad human being for not attending certain conferences their friends threw. I was “informed” that if I didn’t show up at certain meetings the person would do everything in their power to talk down my business and promote my competitors. The crown jewel of this came last year when I said I would be taking some time off to spend with my wife and my new baby. I think the series of articles written here over the past year have successfully separated me from enough “community” enough reporters trying to build a story and enough Microsoft staff looking for free publicity. Most people that have met me know that I’m a smartass and actually a very nice guy – and I made a mistake of allowing people to take advantage of that. So hopefully I have now built a firewall thick enough to make sure what I do and what I stand for doesn’t get involved in that. Don’t get me wrong, I am not hating on anyone that is trying to shamelessly whore themselves through those things to build a business, I totally respect and recommend that, it’s just that I’m not interested and I need to learn how to say no politely.

When Live isn’t so Live (Wave 3)

Microsoft
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Microsoft made a lot of noise about Live last week, but some MSN tricks never die. For example, the new wave of Live apps is beyond broken, but they won’t let you download the old stable ones. So what to do, what to do.

I have a 32bit Vista Enterprise, and after attempting to install Windows Live Suite I am given the following error:

Capture

There was a problem with this installation. Windows Live Suite was not installed.

System error details

Code: 0x8000ffff

Description: Catastrophic failure

I found a great blog by Jonathan Kay covering this very issue and the resolution. It also has great tips on removing and adding different live components.

Just lie to me Jerry

IT Culture
1 Comment

Last week the hard drive on my Dell XPS M1530 got put on life support. Bad blocks, unreadable system files, etc. After an hour of trying to repair Vista and failing on one system file after another I gave up and did the diagnostics check. Yup, drive passed on.

So I contacted Dell Online Support hoping that I would get a quick and painless part replacement under warranty. You can kind of guess where this is heading but keep on reading, there is an important lesson here. After jumping through the Dell hoops and redoing all the steps the Dell technician made me do before he finally shipped the drive I was asked to hold on:

Please give me 2 more minutes my manager would like to have a word with you.

Manager was very polite but I doubt he liked my answer to his question. The issue with support is that we as technical people feel we are beyond process, we know what we are doing so please skip the level 101 stupid questions. The more basics you put me through, the more upset I get. So the more Dell tried to help, the more time I wasted on what was ultimately about $80.

I just wanted to check your experience on Chat with him.
12:35:55 PM        Agent      Sup_Aamer_52067    
Was he able to handle the problem to your satisfaction?
12:36:17 PM        Customer      Vladimir Mazek    
Honestly, I would not rank your support as satisfactory or recommend Dell based on this support call.
12:36:29 PM        Customer      Vladimir Mazek    
However, I do understand you have a process in place for very good reasons and I can respect that.

We went back and forth a little and he did explain the reason why the basics are done (few items I was not aware of, for example they track error codes that are produced by their diagnostics software so they can track defects)

But the point is that this conversation about improving their process really did nothing for me as a customer. I had a piece of electronics which is prone to failure, it failed, I spent my time and then spent it again to get the replacement, no amount of explanation was going to make me feel good about what had happened. They could have thrown a Dell Mini my way, a 42” plasma screen, I still would be shooting time down the sinkhole that is an issue I wish had not happened in the first place.

And if I had unreasonable expectation that everything should work 100% in 100% of the time I wouldn’t be in IT.

Here is where the conversation went to an eventful draw that 99.999% of the support calls end with – both parties are dissatisfied with the outcome. The support did all they could and the customer is still unhappy.

12:41:28 PM        Customer      Vladimir Mazek    
And I did comply with the script and the process.
12:41:38 PM        Agent      Sup_Aamer_52067    
We pass on the error code to the concerned department so that they work on it and try to minimize those errors.
12:41:50 PM        Agent      Sup_Aamer_52067    
Yes. And we really appreciate that.
12:41:52 PM        Customer      Vladimir Mazek    
But you did ask me if I was satisfied with your support and frankly the answer to that is no, I was not.
12:42:21 PM        Customer      Vladimir Mazek    
But I do appreciate the effort and the help and the new hard drive.

This sucks for everyone involved. Dell support gets a bad rep, I probably get dinged a few support points which assures I’m labeled as a jerk never to go above and beyond for because I am holding Dell to an unfair standard.

But this is where he won the ball game. We continued to chat about process, etc and after I summed up my main point of contention:

 12:44:31 PM        Agent      Sup_Aamer_52067    
I will take this feedback and make sure that my agents work on it.

Wow.

Lie to me Jerry, lie to me!

I have no idea if Aamer is going to take the feedback I gave him to his supervisors or if he just got another jerk off his support queue. But the above made me feel really good.

My feedback counted for something, more importantly, I was at least indirectly assured that I was right in my request and not insanely demanding.

There are two outcomes that can be taken with any complaint:

  1. Customer is wrong, f em. They lose.
  2. Customer is right, let’s fix it. They win.

Almost all support cases end up in one of the two buckets. Then there is that third area which makes both parties share a bit of the victory. I feel like I did my diagnostics and assured the first guy that the drive is dead. They feel like they did their job and got me a replacement. But neither of us is perfectly satisfied. Did Dell concede that it was their fault? No. Did I concede that their process makes perfect sense? No.

But I walk away from an incident that I wish I didn’t have to be involved in feeling like the next experience won’t be a negative one.

When you fail people that is pretty much all you can give them, faith that the next experience will be better. Behind the scenes, you work damn hard to make sure the conversation never repeats.

The joy of customer service.

What to do when your carrier is an SPF?

IT Business
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This blog is somewhat famous for beating up single points of failure and dragging them through the dirt. The fact that anyone would succumb to such a restriction shows either ridiculously poor judgement or the details are buried deep within the 16 pages of legalese nonsense that only lawyers can engage in massively bleeding the company without legal representation of any bank balances.

So what happens when your carrier is an SPF?

Would you be surprised that most of the large networks happen to be SPFs? (the whole SPFism, from the megalomaniac carriers to IT consultants, is a condition borne out of extreme arrogance – “we have the best network, we know it all and we refuse to hire anyone else to transit our data – the whole world should change to adapt to us” which is about as remote from the purpose of the Internet as possible)

How do they get away with it?

Somewhere in the book of terms and conditions of the agreement you sign with a major telecom organization there is text that basically reads:

“Due to the technical limitations and intermittent outages of certain routes ____ does not guarantee transit to all remote networks.”

This happens to be a very valid argument on surface. Suppose there was a web server somewhere in Malaysia and the boat that it’s on just sunk 2 feet and the switch that was at the bottom of it flooded. Of course we can’t guarantee that.

But when Sprint, an SPF network, decides to drop their peering with Cogent, the worlds largest carrier of Internet’s primary value (pr0n, baby) many people start a bond fire.

Sprint, you should be ashamed.

If you are reading this blog and happen to have a T1 from Sprint you need to drop out of that contract immediately and move to a multihomed carrier. This tactic of bullying your competitors is not just unfair it is a sign of financial instability.

Disclosure: My employer is a large customer of both carriers, however, we do not use either network in an SPF configuration, all are multihomed.

I’m heading to prison

Awesome
5 Comments

That last time this many dawgs for slaughtered, Michael Vick went from multimillionaire to a prisoner. Today, in an epic Georgia bitchslapping festival tradition that is the Worlds Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, Florida Gators DESTROYED Georgia.

Last year there was a little fluke. Every dog gets lucky once in 20 years.

This year it was a massacre at the hands of Florida Gators. 49-10, really 49-3 if you don’t count Georgia scoring on the 4th string players in the last quarter.

Chris, I’ll see you in Atlanta. SEC SEC SEC.