Is it August yet?

Awesome
3 Comments

Another beautiful day in Florida, it’s a great time to be alive. And it’s always great to be a Florida Gator. As the reigning champions we need to fill our quota of smack talk so today I would like to address something I am asked frequently.

What the heck is a Sooner? What does Ohio State roadkill taste like? What happens with the elephant mascot from the overhyped Alabama season once Florida is through with it?

I now have an answer for you:

sechate

It’s delicious! Southeastern Conference, the tradition of hate continues šŸ™‚ I know, I know, it seems a bit much… but I gotta stock up snacks for my boy that’s going to be out on the road the next two weeks.

I am not dead…

Vladville
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All I can say is that it’s a blessing when your hobbies turn into business units that make such a huge impact in lives and businesses around the world. When things go from “fun stuff Vlad does in his spare time” to “business critical training and management” they go into that big pile of “stuff I’d rather not be bitched out about”..

I’ve been quiet over the last two weeks because I’ve been swamped in getting all this stuff documented and process-driven so more monkeys can be added to it as the popularity grows.

I’ll be posting about it this week…

Changing the IT World

IT Business
4 Comments

Mark Crall handed me a book yesterday with the following line: “If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”. I think at times in the IT industry we spend far too much time standing at the odds with the user, the partners and really everyone that has anything but our best interest and comfort at hand. Think of BOFH for a moment.

Meanwhile, the average IT user is getting much more competent and the “IT knowledge” is no longer some high end skill that can only be managed by some “we’re more like an attorney or doctor just for IT” as if anyone ever enjoys having a conversation with their attorney or doctor.

Yesterday I had a long conversation with Arnie Bellini from ConnectWise about the change we’re both seeing in the IT “industry” and the IT “world” because those two are converging rather quickly and if you’re an “attorney or doctor” style company, your days are numbered. The ugly thing is, transitioning to where most IT people need to be is going to be a painful process. I know.. because over the past 18 months we’ve worked on transitioning to that model and I “enjoyed” getting bitched out by one partner or another during that process. We lost some good people, we screwed some partners – but the difference is that we’re still going to be around 2-3 years from now while the people that stuck in their comfort zone (be it VAR or MSP or vendor or big box maker) are disappearing quickly and at a faster and faster rate. I know there is pain out there, and it’s not because of the economy or Obama or the Easter bunny. It’s because the fundamentals of this business have changed.

On Monday I pitched my new world order idea to the UK HTG group and it was a prelude to the invitation I made to all of you to come and work with OWN on a little advisory group. At the same time, I am out working with HTG, with Autotask, with ConnectWise, talking with a bunch of people that at the end of the day – we will be competing with head to head. And in our little world and small mindset of Vendor => Partner => End user, which is going to shrink very rapidly, the new way services are acquired and used, there is no big future. However, the advantage of the community and business models that are already in place, shows a lot of promise.

Drop me an email at vlad@vladville.com if you want to work with me (OWN). Just to give you an idea of how the conversation went:

Vlad: How many of you consider Google your competition? (no hands go up)
Vlad: Do you have any clients that use their solutions?
Chris: Yes.
Vlad: Wouldn’t you like their money for that service?
Chris: Yes!

Now, here is where things fall apart: Why did they go to Google/Yahoo/Microsoft in the first place? And then the sad realization: Your sales and support process as it is will not be profitable in this new world. However…. your top line business model can be ridiculously more profitable than it is.

So… interesting 2009/2010 lifecycle at OWN. If you want to be a part of trying to help us figure this out, vlad@vladville.com

I really shouldn’t be allowed into Fry’s

Deals
1 Comment

I’m in Dallas for HTG and decided to come in a day early to go through some stuff. Part of that stuff is a meal at McAllisters, a visit to my bank and a pilgrimage to Fry’s. I call it a pilgrimage because it is nearly a religious experience going there – the place knows just what I want.

And mind you, it has a totally crackheaded taste.

For example, yesterday before leaving Orlando I stopped by a Walmart to get a power strip. I hate going on multiday conference business trips because my N+1 redundancy lifestyle doesn’t fit what most hotels consider to be a ā€œbusinessā€ traveler.

In my business travels I have unplugged lamps, microwaves, TV and DVD sets, mini bars, refrigerators even set electronics to charge in the bathroom. I have 3 cell phones, 2 laptops, 1 camcorder and I’ve actually downsized over the years šŸ˜‰ I also travel with a power strip as a result of it.

So today I went to Fry’s. Guess what they had on sale?

Travel Charging Strip.

I kid you not. $6.99 for a 0 profile 0U power strip with a wraparound low profile cord and power plug. It takes up 1/4 of the space my current strip takes up and it weighs almost nothing.

Now, if you ask me what the other $300 dollars that I spent at Fry’s went to… it gets scarier. Among the selection, a universal rechargeable external battery pack. It charges while your laptop charges. This way I don’t have to charge multiple batteries and if my laptop starts to run out of juice, I can plug it into this 1lb battery pack.

God bless Fry’s and all it’s junk I always needed but nobody decided to make it.

What would you like to know about being successful?

Uncategorized
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I’m on my way to the HTG Summit right now and I’m trying to figure out what else I can talk about during my presentation on Monday. I’m doing one of those lunch and learn things that often become monotone sales pitches while you’re trying to eat or have a business discussion. Since I’ve got nothing to sell that isn’t painfully obvious to everyone in attendance, what would folks like to know about being successful in a services business?

If you have an idea, drop me an email. I’ll develop it.

Here is the problem that is going to be tough to swallow and will leave a lot of the current IT businesses, even very successful ones, out in the cold: when it comes to IT services consumers and businesses want to buy. They don’t want to meet with you, to get to know you and your business and your cats name, what you did on the last vacation or else.

The same things that are critical to closing a high end sale or a high value reoccurring revenue are the the nail in the coffin of a successful services business. If you are signing up someone for a $3K all you can eat support contract you probably want to sit down with them and figure out if they are going to require $10K of network renovation up front. But if they want business / enterprise class email, just how much are you going to mark up that $10 service to make a profit?

We are often asked by our ā€œprospectā€ partners how much other partners charge for the service. The cookie cutter response and the company policy is to say ā€œWe do not track that information, each reseller positions our products in a different way with a different value and identical product can be sold at different rates by different people. Because we do not track this, we don’t have any idea.ā€ – Truth is, I know exactly how much people make because I talk to every even marginally successful partner out there! But it’s not my business to share those conversations or create success stories because, at the end of the day, you are either in it or you aren’t and the relative cost is never the telling part of a person who is going to make money on services as opposed to one that will have it as a loss leader.

Generally, it’s not my business to teach folks this stuff. But for HTG, I’m willing to make an exception. What would you like to hear?

Hot Plate Blade

SMB
4 Comments

I’m on my way to Dallas for the HTG Summit. Got a ton of shirts and associated swag, stop by, say hi, bitch about my products and I’ll fix em. The usual.

OWN had the pleasure of resurrecting the hot plate blade center back to life overnight. Had we not gotten this together we would have looked like such losers I’d be afraid to even walk around Dallas.

Umm, yeah, I couldn’t keep a 4-blade $20K blade center together. My bad. But please give me your colo business!

The rough thing is, there is no way to win any sympathy points at all with your peers. But here is the messed up part. There was an extra blade in the blade center that NOBODY can account for. It’s not ours. It’s not the developers. It wasn’t on the purchase order. Nobody knows where it came from, we just know that the extra ram that was supposed to go into isn’t compatible with that motherboard. Here is where insult turns to injury: In the system that the system does fit and boots with full compatibility and speed the heat output is so high that it triggers the heat sensor on the CPU and marks the system down for overheating, shutting it down. And just when you think you’ve been kicked enough, and you tell the monkeys you’ll hang them upside down about not being able to find a server in 20ā€ of vertical space – you notice that the overheating server blew off the label from the blade.

Vlad: It was a hardware  failure.

Dave: Should have gotten a Mac. OS X never overheats.

Vlad: One node failed.

Erick: Have you heard of this new technology called clustering?

Vlad: But I didn’t set it up

Karl: Oh, tell me a tale of how you can’t keep $20,000 worth of server alive!

Vlad: But it was the new third party RAM that we didn’t order that overheated it.

Mark: You know they have heatsinks for RAM now, it’s new.. maybe 6-7 years old?

No matter which way you spin it there is no running away from five nines. There is just no way to gain any sympathy when you spend so much $$ on the stuff.

TPB Founders Jailed – Microsoft and Adobe lose 99% of their install base

Awesome
1 Comment

Founders of the popular torrent web site, thepiratebay.org, were found guilty of keeping record and software companies around by making a system that enabled their fans to pirate copyright materials and still make their business models and products relevant. Each gets a million dollar fine and a year in a Swedish prison (made by IKEA, so they just gotta find the side of the prison made of a 1/8″ MDF composite board to kick through and go home)

In a related story, Microsoft loses 99% of the Windows Vista Ultimate installations and Adobe loses 99% of the Adobe Creative Suite 4 market share. Turns out, less than 1% of the population with Internet access is stupid enough to spend the kind of money these companies are asking for their flagshit (it’s a typo, really!) products.

It’s Friday – cheer up!

Mirror Match

IT Business
2 Comments

One of the hardest things in business is making business decisions that are clearly against your principles and what you believe in, all for the sake of profits. But as we are seeing with each passing day, the focus is on survival and the bottom line, much less about who or what stands in the way. Getting into the state of mind that you’re the exact replica – except opposite – is tough, mentally anguishing and raises the feeling of uncertainty even with all the black and while justifying the decision.

The response to this is generally (depending on who you’re talking to): ā€œGrow a pair of balls and quit your bitching!ā€

I’ve spent a large part of my professional career preaching that the CAPEX of any business needs to be limited, that liquidity (cash balance) is what matters the most and that the cleanest way to run a profitable business is to move as much of the fixed/variable costs to the operational expenses that are quickly written off and profit / growth is easy to judge. Not to mention the flexibility that brings to a business, lower risk, etc.

But you can go to college if you want to learn about business.

I’m here to bitch.

I’m here to bitch about the inconveniences that growing a business – aside from the only one I know how to run well – is causing me to re-evaluate how I view the world of leasing, etc. Namely, my tiny growing Central Florida presence now has to get a bigger office. And office space is expensive.

How expensive is it Vlad?

It’s more expensive than owning the actual property. Yes, the inconvenient to get to, park and otherwise physically alter office space with a Mexican running around picking up paperclips off the floor for $3.50 an hour is apparently worth $30/sq/ft + CAM. Except it’s not REALLY worth that much because half the damn building is empty, the businesses that used to be in them have no chance in hell of returning anytime soon.. but like a crooked mob they are all keeping their prices artificially fixed at a level so high that they can’t get any new business in there and lowering the rate would trigger a massive renegotiating effort by current tenants in a marketplace where very few people are starting businesses that require class A office space. Yep, we’re doomed. 

Witchcraft & Astrology Decision Making

So now I’m in a position where I have to make a long term investment in a commercial property in Orlando. Simple enough, call the bank and ask for cash.

Buying the place… not so easy. Why? Most of the deciding factors are complete vapor, made on no substantial data.

How big do of an office space do you think you’ll have 5 years from now? (how many employees will you have employed 5 years from now?)

What do you think the eventual resale value of the property will be, ten to thirty years from now?

Commercial property in that part of town will always keep on going up!

This is where things get completely idiotic. First, I am as sure of the property value of the building and land in Florida in year 2019 as I am sure that Orlando will be under Atlantic Ocean.

Second, this is a total emotional cluster@#%. You are driven to overbuy because it’s easy to pay a little more but virtually impossible to expand the building.

The Bottom Line

At $30/sq ft ($25/sq ft/month) for class A office space lease, it is far more expensive to lease than to buy a property at $250/sq ft. This means, barring an the uneventful sinking of Florida into either the gulf or ocean, that buying a property is like making a savings deposit of your rent check every month and the ability to cash it in at any point. When you calculate the inflation and contractual annual increases in rent that are guaranteed on a commercial lease, it makes even more sense to buy.

Looking at the new tax structure proposals is making this an even easier decision. If we pull dividends out of the company, or take huge salaries, we’re taking a 39% hit. However, if we’re holding something for more than 3 years (not 100% sure on how many years) then we’re only subject to long term capital gains of 22% or so.

So with all the math, smoke and mirrors.. how big of a place do I want and where do I want it? This is where it gets REALLY hilarious. Random people sit around the table and try to predict the future of where people will live, how they will work and what they’ll be willing to pay for. Yes ladies and gentleman, I am no longer the king of SPAM killers, I’m Walt F’n Disney building Epcot.

At this rate, I’m getting a $50,000 crackhouse in the middle of Paramore, Orlando so I can at least have an excuse…

Looking for ConnectWise victims

Shockey Monkey
7 Comments

We’re looking for ConnectWise volunteers / victims to test out our new support system integration. If you use OWN service and ConnectWise, please drop me an email.

We need: 1) Access to your ConnectWise system 2) Your system needs to be SMTP enabled to send out alerts 3) Permission to access your OWN account 4) Permission to setup a new alert and open/update tickets in your ConnectWise system and 5) We need it by tomorrow at the latest.

P.S. This will complete our integration portfolio between Shockey Monkey and Autotask, ConnectWise, Kaseya, LPI, Quickbooks, MYOB, Office (SBA/Excel) as well as our own WMI agent software. We also have the Zenith Infotech code in place but without the ability to test it with them.. well, you know.. it might happen but don’t hold your breath on that one for SM3 release.

Dell Managed Services

IT Business
9 Comments

Game… over.

dellmsp