Shuffled

Apple
2 Comments

shuffleToday Apple released the iPod  Shuffle upgrade. This has been by far my favorite Apple product and perhaps the most valuable one given price / feature breakdown. We’ve given away hundreds of them to partners, folks reading this blog, business associates, employees..  I think the Mazek family alone has  at least half a dozen of them. They are convenient: for running, for cars, for training and for flights. Quick, simple, battery lasts forever. You can just stick your hand into the pocket, hit a few buttons while doing something else and you’re done.

Today, Apple either screwed all that up or is about to revolutionize the way headphones work. I’m betting on the former. By shifting the controls to the headphone it forces folks to mess around with the headphones, etc.

If I had to call it, this is the biggest failure since Microsoft changed their office UI from dropdown menu system to ribbons. At least Apple isn’t risking a multibillion dollar line of business.

What were you thinking?

Uncategorized
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Now I’ve come under some criticism from my pals over my (overly accurate) depiction of the Microsoft Partner Program last year. But nobody is immune. Check these winners out:

Go Green

Or we will feed you to the ugliest printer, scanner, paper shredder / human chopper on the market. Seriously folks, I know it’s Kyocera which specializes in ugly, but this monstrosity? What’s the angle? If you print something you’ll have to touch this device?

kyocera

Now I’ve seen some ugly MFC systems but nothing quite like this. From the web site: “It makes a bold impression.” So does a bathroom without a door, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea!

Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

This one came to me courtesy of Dave. Now despite colorful language here, I’ve never stepped a foot inside of an “Adult Entertainment” restaurant. It just does not sound sanitary.

recession-lunch-special

But how big of a problem do you have when you’re hitting the joint for LUNCH?? That’s something to bring up at 11 AM:

Amy: Lunch anyone? Anyone up for Chillis? TGIF? McDonalds?

Bob: Hey, the strip joint is serving discount lunch specials!!! <wack>

And another thing! Show some pride in your work damnit, what’s with the spacing and indentation? Recession doesn’t give you the right to do a half ass (heh, heh) job on the marketing!

Bye Bye DSBL – Check your mail servers!

Exchange, ExchangeDefender
2 Comments

At one point last year the DSBL blacklist, quite popular in it’s hayday, lost it’s entire database in a RAID system crash. The name servers kept on answering requests in the meantime. Yesterday, this activity stopped.

This means that if you still use the DSBL, you might be delaying or bouncing your inbound mail. Check your servers and make sure the DSBL is not listed. In short, everything with *.dsbl.org must go.

Note: We have not / do not use DSBL in ExchangeDefender so if you are with us, you were not affected.

Going Forward

Vladville
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In January I ran the WDW Marathon and 26.2 miles, which truly kicked my ass. Having completed my winter tour of flu, cold, stomach bug, AIDS, west nile and possibly other tropical diseases, I got back to my physical training in anticipation of bringing back the Ironman for the rest of the season. I wanted to offer everyone an honest heads up about what is going on at OWN and put the announcements you will be hearing over the next few months into some context.

Own Web Now has been a big geek firm for many years.

Unfortunately, for many of those years that is all it was.

Fortunately, we did a very good job with it.

Now, this is where it gets a little complex. Rising tide lifts all boats, some with real IT solution providers, some with good salesmen with a few missing planks. The partner demand had shifted, the focus changed from building technology to deploying and consolidating it and we played a huge part in it. We’ve been so successful at it as a matter of fact that we’ve pretty much lost a year to bring our business processes to the level needed to support what we were doing. We also had to step up our game as the IT space became more consumerish (and by that I mean nobody RTFMs any more) and that lead to some shuffling of the talent within OWN.

Basically, the demand for the “technical” company went up to midmarket and enterprise where we do exclusive contract work. Meanwhile, the SMB part of the business required more professional handling and management. This required a change in the way we approach SMB and grow it along with the way our partners are growing. We’re not just a backoffice anymore.

Unfortunately, this means my role in it all becomes a lot more limited. For example, I used to handle all partner relationships. But these days we’re fielding idiotic questions from people who ought to know the answers (“So, what’s the hosted Exchange like?”) and that now has a dedicated team that sits around and demos our solutions to the solution providers that need to learn how to position, sell and deploy the solutions.

Frankly, I don’t have the time for that.

You’ve already seen some hint of what I’m actually up to through the SPAM Show. This year we’ll be sponsoring the entire MSPU circuit. Today we lined up to sponsor the SMBTN event. Towards the end of March we are sponsoring the Autotask event and showcasing our integration there, and at the end of August we’re doing the same with ConnectWise. In the middle we will be getting more involved with HTG groups which we just started sponsoring and will have booths at Microsoft WPC and a few ASCII events as well.

Why? See previous line. I want to stay in touch with the partners and continue to help when I can, but my time is progressively being taken up by meetings and product development, so my ability to pick up the phone and explain business cases and what I’m hearing from the IT field out there is going to be rather limited.

I think all this will benefit our partner base significantly.

You will see a few things show up on this blog over the next few months, all of which relate to my professional side of life.. If you work with us this will make you more money and make you more profitable, so I urge you to get involved. Serious upgrades to ExchangeDefender are around the corner. There is a lot of new stuff coming down the Shockey Monkey tree. We’re bringing additional products and services.

I talk a lot of shit. But you have years worth of archives that back up what I’m saying and what we’re doing about it to compete. You’d very hard pressed to find a more open company or a more partner friendly one at that. We haven’t had technical issues creep up in months, no discussions over ExchangeDefender delays, the offsite backups have been flawless, our technical support has been getting stellar reviews and new communication, billing and automation are getting congratulations around the world. At a time where most IT / Software vendors are cutting jobs, we are growing.

Not to be curt, but this is a partnership. If you aren’t interested in making my company more profitable, don’t expect a warm welcome when you ask for things like Shockey Monkey and Offsite Backups – those are meant for our loyal partners – not for guys looking for a deal while propping up our competitors at every turn.

I look forward to working with you all in the coming months as we set ourselves up for a fantastic 2010. Yeah, we’re kicking ass right now, but if we take our eyes of the ball that will certainly change. Moreso, I feel like we have this huge competitive edge and I’ll do all I can to make sure we take advantage of this economic chaos and the need to slash IT budgets. I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day so I can bring everyone in at the lowest level, but the ugly truth with huge audiences is that the intimacy gets thin, so in the meantime I sincerely hope you support what I’m doing to keep us and our growing enterprise on the right track.

Vlad-Share

Vladville
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The other day we were recording the SPAM Show with Erick Simpson (MSPU), Bob Godgart (Autotask) and Mark Crall (Tech Care Team) and talking about the Web 2.0 of all things. Show will be published @OwnWebNow at some point this week as usual, if you’d like to hear about it please join our partner program.

This one is going to be funny. Or at least my opinion of that word.

First, I’ll admit, Web 2.0 means a lot of things to a lot of people.

However, when it comes to running a business, things have not changed a whole heck of a lot in the past 200+ years.

It’s all about how connected you are and how hard you work. Those two happen to be the complete opposites of one another. For example, I know a ton of people who do a remarkably good job but still make chump change because they refuse to be social. On the other hand, I know hordes upon hordes of remarkably useless people who seem to do nothing but party. To put it in even clearer terms: Some people spend too much time talking shit and not enough time doing anything valuable at all – tough luck, not all of us can be marketing people.

Somewhere along the Closet Sociopath – .COM Stalker graph is a happy middle that helps you extend your social footprint with the minimal effort while still being able to do your job.

This is what I use things like Twitter, Facebook, Yammer and a few others. It’s not a science or a best practice, it just works for me. So even if I explained it in full detail, it wouldn’t be very useful to you.

Vlad’s Guide To Becoming a Complete Sociopath

First, understand that there are 24 hours in a day. Come up with a list of your social objectives. Mine are knowing which events in the industry are hot, who is working on what and which problems are developing out there. So I can sit around the clock and listen to opinions of Bored In Office, Outspoken but Completely Worthless, Professor Indecision Loop as they write paragraph after paragraph, blog post after blog post, discussion after discussion. Hence why I nuked my v@vladville.com account and everything that came along with it. Now I follow people that I know and have met personally and I see what they find important, 140 chars max at a time. This reduces my time and personal involvement in matters that do not directly impact me in any way.

Second, understand that fewer rich relationships are more valuable than many worthless ones. Crudely put, you’re more likely to succeed in a small real estate office than as the Commander-in-Chief of Hobo Posse. Small, personal sentiments mean more than a ton of broad, less valuable ones. This is one of the many lessons I had to learn the hard way. Interpret this as you wish and need to, personally, these days I make more effort to work with the fewer people and let the benefits of that spread to the wider audience if possible.

Third, and perhaps most important – The beauty of Web 2.0 and all these mechanisms that are turning us into ADHD monkeys is that there is a clear value in being a scatter brained workaholic. If I gave everyone I worked with and everyone who wanted to talk to me my full and undivided attention, I would work 22 hours a day. You know, like I used to. The Jackass Years. Today, I’ve trained people I work with to only come to me if they need something specific that I can produce. I’ve started treating others in the same way as well. “I need exactly _______.” Fill in the blank or find someone that can.

Blueprint

Right now we live in the time of great uncertainty, as we do every four years during election cycles or every 2-3 years during financial panics (good and bad). People certainly have a heck of a lot less patience, want immediate response and things done that way.

You can ignore this demand, pretend that you’re Michelangelo and sit on the plank painting the friggin ceiling for years uncertain if you’re going to get paid for the painting…. Or you can take very small brush strokes, very quickly, and get adjusted along the way while collecting pennies.

What I mean, quite simply is:  This is the time to act quickly. There are tools to enable and facilitate that. If you can take advantage of that, you won’t get stuck and passed by everyone else.

Economy 2.0

IT Business
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Dire predictions from The Times:

“These jobs aren’t coming back,” said John E. Silvia, chief economist at Wachovia in Charlotte, N.C. “A lot of production either isn’t going to happen at all, or it’s going to happen somewhere other than the United States. There are going to be fewer stores, fewer factories, fewer financial services operations. Firms are making strategic decisions that they don’t want to be in their businesses.”

Now, it’s easy to dismiss this because it comes from the mouth of someone that was involved in advising top levels of the most decimated industry in America. On the other hand, most of the greed that fueled it was lead by the typical Dilbert management and marketing characters.

I for one agree with him in the short term. As do the markets, as do politicians, as do the banks as do the foreign markets.

We’re now where we were at 10 years ago, financially, as a country. So were the years of Clinton and Bush (prior to bombing the wrong country) a lie? Not at all. Look at our little scope of IT. We built all these things at an enormous cost because there was no alternative. No broadband. Today we can do a lot for a lot less, remotely, which is why our business is growing.

But what if your primary business was making high end laptops? Not a good time.

This is a great lesson to learn. In order for your business to grow it needs to change.

Will soon come a day where Hosted Exchange and ExchangeDefender are not as hot? When we’ll be running at the fraction of employees? I don’t doubt it at all. Gotta keep on innovating if you want to stay around.

Not doom and gloom, just reality.

Automating Client/User Behavior

Google, iPhone, IT Culture, Shockey Monkey
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One of my greater joys in business over the past two years has been the development of our PSA. In the process of studying just how much we suck (and the extent) I’ve really gathered an alarming amount of data points that explain just where we suck but also the uniform way in which our client base is retarded. Naturally, it’s our fault.

Earlier today one of the kids from the Leesburg office drove down to frigid 60F Orlando and we took him out to lunch. We talked about some of the more advanced topics regarding ExchangeDefender. It’s so nice to see people interested in your work.

It’s also quite a pleasure to explain the actual meaning and implementation of the system and watch their dreams shatter in front of you. “Well, yes, that’s how we explain it. Here is what actually happens on the backend.” What can I say, my job is to deliver a message to destinations that are setup by a combo of a laid off IT helpdesk employee, part time lawyer and his wife, the disaccredited CPA. The miracles we perform to get mail to go from point A to point B deserve some sort of a sainthood.

So today we made some slight changes to the support system.

See if you can tell which one is for real.

This is the official business version:

Better Support Escalation

This dropdown allows you to select the service that you are requesting support for. This helps us route the request to the most qualified individual on the support team that can address your request quickly.service2

Note that when you select an item you will be presented with a checkbox to tell us if this is a service outage. If the outage affects the entire organization, and you check this box, we will escalate the request for free and bump you to the front of the queue.

Now, since I wrote the whole thing this afternoon, allow me to take you through the development process and the reality behind the sugarcoated marketing speak:

Business Problem Definition:

  1. These jackasses aren’t reading the documentation.
  2. Support team spends all day copying and pasting KB articles.
  3. People shouldn’t pay for urgent support if there is a system down issue. We aren’t going to waive charges for urgent support. Meet me half way!

Business Problem Analysis:

  1. Nobody reads our documentation.
  2. Nobody bothers to file support requests with enough detail, only bare minimum.
  3. Nobody reads anything we write or do.

Solution Matrix:

  1. How about we hide a setting for our literate partners that lets them get free support?
  2. What about embedding help right when they ask the question, maybe it temporarily distracts them and they forget what they wanted.
  3. Maybe we can route these requests better around the clock, skip the middle man.

Voila.

Now, true: I wrote this to help my partners and make my staff a lot more efficient and provide more value along the way.

However: Things would cost so much less and perform so much better if we were not stuck in the baby sitting mode training people how to use the products they should have learned in less than 1 hour of video sessions.

This, IMHO, is what sucks about IT and what makes most people throw their hands up in frustration and they end up compromising for Google Gmail and the iPhone. Neither is a serious business solution, but serious business people are about money and efficiency – not about throwing money down the IT Strategic Initiative toilet, hoping to have something valuable at some upgrade cycle in the future.

Ballmer is under fire for some statements he made today. For what it’s worth, I defend the guy for being up front about the problem and what is going on. We can no longer afford little incremental fill-in-the-gap solutions. It’s all or nothing, black or white, people simply won’t put up with limitations in reliability. If they have to put up with limitations, they will go to the shiny crap or free crap – because let’s face it, if it’s all crap anyhow you may as well not pay for it and at least get some joy out of looking at it.

The Bull Phoenix

IT Business
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If Karl ever brings over a big enough truck full of money for me to write a book, this will be it’s title. Think of it as a business model that emerges out of the state of utter confusion, complexity and let’s be honest – bullshit – that is IT consulting.

I seem to spend more of my time talking to a very polarized audience – on one hand I have a ton of people that are skyrocketing in their business, on the other there are a few folks that just don’t seem to get what is holding them back.

The answer: their bull.

Really. There is no seeming characteristic that separates highly profitable folks from highly unprofitable. I have folks with severe speech impediments rolling in four and five figure contracts. I have one man shops signing up larger customers than my enterprise wing brings in. There are companies in the rust belt and financial services that are growing their business faster than the “hot” verticals of medicine and telephony.

Every day I talk to people who don’t seem to want to do anything to reach a new audience.

Every damn one of them is reading Vladville.com, listening to my podcasts, going through my videos and documentation.

All of this is just a huge friggin ploy to take all of your money. There is no real value here at all. For petes sake, start copying this grammatical abortion and focus on growing your business!@$!$!@$

If what worked yesterday isn’t working today, change it.

If what worked yesterday isn’t working as well today, change it.

If what you have is working, do more of it.

We had a killer February, biggest on record. March is already 30% ahead of February. Every day counts. Every effort counts. By firing employees, cutting products and trying to save money? Hell no. By adding more people, cutting deals and growing the portfolio.

Let me get straight to the point: You need more variety in your offerings. If the crappy crappy cardboard marketing RR crap you’ve been spraying your SIC codes is hardly cracking the 3% return rate, even if its thousands of dollars in return, should be returning more. If your customers aren’t responding to your message it isn’t because they just haven’t seen the light and don’t understand the value of your model – it’s because what you have on sale isn’t peaking their interest and you need to add more.

People are buying. If they aren’t buying your crap, you need to talk to me. As of late, I’ve adopted the phone greeting to:

Hi, my name is Vlad and I am here to make you money.

This goes on every level. I spoke to some high level folks at a company I talk about here often, they have a + in their name. Guess what I told them:

I am not sure if the partner is willing to pay or if the vendor is willing to pay. All I know is that there is a demand for it out there that people are willing to pay for and who am I not to take their money and make them more?

Always. Ladies and Gentleman. Always be pimping.

Sometimes all you need to do is ask

Awesome
5 Comments

I’ve sort of made a career bashing Mac users. It backfired in Apple buying me a Mac Air! Thanks. So I figured I ought to push my luck and ask for a Lamborghini Murcielago.

And last week it made it here. Orange too!

lamborghini-lp640-38-thumb

Though it wasn’t quite the $300,000 car but a 1:16 diecast model, from my buddy Jon Coles at itlifesupport.com in UK. You’ll be happy it has gone on my shelf of dreams.

Gotta dream big I guess. It’s either going to motivate you or beat you down. It all depends on what you want from life.

Earlier tonight Katie and I were shopping for a house in Maui. I know, I know.

Here is the one we settled on:

l86d1e641-c6o

We’re going to have to move a few more ExchangeDefender mailboxes… check it out, only 18 million. American dollars.

The Value of Hard Work

Vladville
2 Comments

Thank you for all the nice emails regarding my health (or lack thereof) the new SPAM Show, etc. It’s always nice to hear that something I do or say materially makes people much better off.

Last week I was at Erick’s bootcamp.. Stu and I were talking about an insane number of people who didn’t do their “homework” they had assigned on the nightly basis. An overwhelming majority would be an understatement. All that time away from work, all that money, all that effort…. and people end up blowing their opportunity to move their businesses forward.

It’s such a sad thing to see. It’s one thing for Geek Squad Dave’s and Amazing Ben’s to run around on vapor for years, such incompetent fools couldn’t get a job or build a business even if they wanted to, but where is the excuse for the rest of folks for their businesses not amounting to shit and not even trying?

There is no excuse. I don’t care what you call your “model” or what your value system holds, no client deserves to have their infrastructure handled so unprofessionally.

Speaking of trying, I did get some questions about the lack of daily blog posts. Folks, I’ve been doing my job. That’s growing and managing the company that makes so many of you so much money. Even if you don’t do business with us, we do a ton of freebie community projects, podcasts and the money for all that doesn’t grow on trees. Someone has to make it in order to spend it. We are growing, we are adding products, we are improving our processes and Shockey Monkey, all those take a lot of time.

To anyone on that same page – life is good. On Saturday I went to Disneyland with friends. On Sunday, I flew to the other coast and went to Disney World with family. Today we had two new people start and we won a major contract. Life is good. So to all those of you working to make things better and improve your companies and your clients – thank you.