What desperation sounds like…

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There will be no more Dell laptops or workstations @ Own Web Now. I had my final conversation with the Dell Gold Team rep (BJ) to find out if anything could be done and cancel orders.

“I hate to lose your business to another computer manufacturer, let’s look at some models on the home site…”

Goodbye Dell, hello HP & Lenovo.

In another story, I got invited to sponsor an event organized by a person that promotes and sells our competitors software. They didn’t want to sell ExchangeDefender which supports and contributes to the community because they saved a few cents with our competitor, but they want our money to throw an event. Err, no.

Sometimes this crap rubs off on me. But then I realize these are not my problems.

Own Q1 has destroyed all previous records. We’re throwing additional capacity around the clock and two new products launch in April. Every day people give me more ideas for what we could build to make them more money and that’s what it’s all about.

Tips for Job Seekers

IT Culture, Legal, Web 2.0
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Let me first admit that I thank my lucky stars that I am nearly never the hiring manager for any roles at Own Web Now. In order for me to make you an offer, you need to come really highly recommended and report directly to me. I think in the past 2 years I’ve hired the grand total of two of such people, both of whom many of you have talked to. Everyone else gets hired through the proper channels and the purpose of this blog post is to familiarize you with the process that will most likely lead to you getting hired. This post is meant for the job seekers only/

For what it’s worth, what finally cracked the camels back was Karl SmbBooks.com picking on me while I was putting on about 5 fires on a Monday afternoon, none of which I needed to fight. I am hiring a person to give Karl sh%% on Mondays.

Understand the Employer

First, understand that the very reason you are looking at an ad, instead of getting in on a friends recommendation, is that company could not find a suitable candidate through other social means. It costs a lot less money to search for job roles than to put up an ad, filter for responses and criteria, wait for a week – not to mention double the cost of putting up an ad.

Second, understand that there are generally over 100 people that will apply for any given job, most of whom are completely unqualified. In the first pass the objective is not to find the shining star but to filter out the collection of unemployed people that are on the street for a reason. That may sound harsh but it is something that you control, not the employer. If you color your resume pink, your resume will not be read. If you didn’t include a cover page, your resume will not be read. Remember that the people reviewing your qualification to work are looking to mitigate risk, not introduce it! If you don’t follow proper channels, you don’t get considered. If you don’t follow the proper business etiquette, you don’t get considered. Why? Because you are being hired to work in a business as a professional.

Final and most important factor: This is a sales job. Deal with it. If you want a job in the private sector you need to come to terms that you are asking people for money and you need to focus on answering the question of why I should give you money instead of a few hundred other people. AIDA. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. In every minute that you are talking to a potential hiring manager you need to be closing. You need to be asking more questions than the person hiring you.

What can I do for you?

Which one of my job responsibilities so far did you find most appealing? Let me tell you how I can implement them to help you!

What is the first task I will be responsible for?

How do I make more money with your company?

There is nothing more awkward than a job interview where the candidate doesn’t have any questions. Ever notice how when people interview you keep on asking open ended questions, ask you about your skills, your responsibilities, your goals? The idea is to get you to start talking so you can immediately showcase yourself as someone that can handle not being micromanaged to death. This tells the employer if you are the kind of a person that is going to seek out problems to fix and be able to handle them, or if you are the person that is going to wait around to be told what to do and when.

Unfortunately for you, if you aren’t an extroverted go getter, you will be working at a fast food joint. The world of business is far too competitive to settle and if your job description can be boiled down to a bullet point / Karl’s Checklist, your job will be done in a third world country.

Who do I want to hire….

pg2_a_vanillaice_300My ideal employee is Vanilla Ice. Why?

“If there was a problem,

yo – I’ll solve it.”

It’s really as simple as that. You know all of those Dilbert terms people tack on at the bottom of a job description?

Self Motivated. Self Starter. Ability to work on multiple tasks. Great communicator a plus.

Those are not empty words meant to fill out a job posting. Those have a real meaning. Your job, regardless of who you are trying to work for, is to reduce the problems and hassle. Not to introduce them. Sell me on the fact that you are not going to be an issue. Tell me that you can handle your life so it doesn’t interfere with your job.

I have a handful of people that I can give a task or a problem and never hear about it. They find the resources, they put together a solution, they contact the client and explain the issue, they get their s@#$ done.

Who do I not want to hire….

Now, some of these may seem obvious. All the more reason to take the stuff I’ve written so far to heart and put yourself as far away from the rest of the unemployed masses. Let’s play a game, shall we? Tell me what’s wrong with this resume:

vlad2 

If you guessed “This moron didn’t even take the time to look at the resume template and put in their name on their resume” you’ve guessed correctly. Congratulations!

This could be just a rookie mistake, however, it shows me that you lack attention to detail. And since your “Functional Role” is that of a Project Manager or IT Manager, you’d lead my company towards a disaster. No, thanks.

Other reasons why you don’t get a followup….

The email address you applied from belongs to your current employer. Not only does this put all kinds of legal questions in my mind, it shows me that you have no loyalty. Why should I bother investing in training and motivating you if you’re already telling me that you’re willing to use company resources for private matters.

The resume did not contain a cover letter. The cover letter is your opportunity to sell me on giving you a call. If you do not have a cover letter I am assuming you don’t actually want this job, you’re just applying for it because it seemed to fit your qualifications and the salary could sustain you. I am going to let you in on a little secret. You are not going to walk off the street into an executive position. You are going to have to put in the time, effort and show true passion for the job and for the company in order for the people whose money is at stake to trust you with the direction. That takes a lot of trust. That takes a lot of effort. That takes a lot of dedication. You showed none, resume deleted.

You decided to call me, fax me, IM me or go through any means other than those specified on the job application. To some this may mean you are driven, dedicated and ambitious. Not to me. This world is full of overambitious jackasses who feel the rules do not apply to them – they do. By being “special” you are identifying yourself as someone that cannot follow the rules.

The resume was pink, red or otherwise lacking proper business sense. I love German Shepherds. Not in a way that only a Bama fan loves a farm animal, but in a sense that I’ve grown up around them and consider them to be a great companion. But when I am putting a business proposal I don’t happen to put a picture of my dog front and center on the proposal. I also don’t paint it blue. Things that work on myspace do not work in the work space.

Finally, and most importantly….. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. ALWAYS:

You are being hired by a growing company in a competitive field that has customers in over 140 countries, over 40 data centers that has a huge global expansion scheduled for 2009 and multiple projects with huge expansion commitment on 3 continents.

You think we got here on the account of sitting back, sipping Mojito’s and relying on the kindness of strangers? If you want to hang here, pardon the expression, you need to be a hustler. I am talking to you for a reason: Do you want the job? 

Just so that we are clear: If I’m talking to you, I am interested. Sell me. Here is someone that did it right:

Dear Mr. Mazek,
Thanks so much for getting back with me so quickly. I am quite familiar with social networking sites. I use Myspace and Facebook daily and have blogged on them before. I just signed up for a Twitter as well. I have a XXXX major and XXXX minor from XXXX University which perfectly correlates with this position.  My communication skills are top notch and my computer skills are quite advanced.  I am interested in hearing more about the position and your organization.  Please let me know if you need anymore information from me.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXX
Cell: XXXXX

What is this person doing? C L O S I N G. Here are my features. Here are my skills. Here is my education. I am interested. My number is here. Call me and give me your money!

Could this person have simply answered an innocent follow-up question without stating all the reasons why they fit the role?

Could this person have done so without making it easy for me to contact them?

Could this person have omitted proper business salutation and gotten straight to the point?

It’s the little things that separate professionals from the unemployed. In order to be trusted with business you have to show that you would run it and manage it as if it was your own money on the line.

A little bit of motivation…

Despite what you may feel about corporations and hiring practices, you should understand that in the private sector you are not simply an employee, you are an investment that corporation makes in its staff. Corporation whose goal it is to make money by providing superior service, whose employees are proud of what they deliver and are constantly striving to move that company forward. Those employees understand that the more successful company gets, the more successful they get, and the closer they get to their dream job.

If, on the other hand, you look at this as a game of numbers and a fight to be won or lost, you won’t go far. If you don’t take care of the house, the house won’t take care of you. You’ll just be angry and depressed with each passing day in which you are not getting your way and aren’t doing anything constructive to get to it.

It’s a tough economy in a tight market and only the best are still around and fighting while most are stuck trying to figure out how to meet payroll numbers. If you want to play in this market, as opposed to being the next job to be chopped and sent to India, you need to step your game up and show some leadership.

Seriously Dell?

IT Business
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I have been just about the loudest supporter of Dell in SMB but time has come where even I have to throw in a towel, both as a customer and as a Gold Team supported company.

Earlier today we had another person join OWN and our standard company issue, Dell Vostro, is just about the most awesome laptop there is for business. Reliable, excellent battery, takes abuse well…

3-21-2009 2-30-27 PM

The only problem is, when your DEFAUT order placed on March 21st does not ship until May 6th, you have no place being in the computer business. This isn’t 1996. You don’t get to take a month and a half to ship a PC.

What gets me is that this is the base laptop that Dell produces. I understand if Adamo has a lot of demand, or if their mini is oversold. But your basic model taking 6 weeks to be built and shipped tells me one thing – your business division is either slowing down a lot or you have serious problems.

I’m taking my business elsewhere, does anyone have a non-HP recommendation?

Looking for Autotask victims

Beta
2 Comments

Next weekend we’ll be sponsoring the Autotask conference, if you are one of our partners and coming to the conference please drop me an email (vlad@vladville.com) with a jacket size (L or XL). As usual, we got some special swag for the people that contribute to Vlad’s Ferrari Collection Fund aka Own Web Now Corp.

Now on to the vague stuff. Would you like to be famous?

1. You must be attending the Autotask Conference.

2. You must be available for a 2 minute video spot on afternoon of Sunday, March 29th.

3. You must be an active Autotask user (Pro or Go) and grant me access to it.

4. You must sign a corporate NDA through the end of next week. No unincorporated SPFs.

5. You must be good at hearing.

We wrote something special for Autotask. We are using the Autotask event to launch the relationship between the two companies, and to highlight our commitment to it we’re doing a publicity stunt with something that is profoundly useless but also very creative and imaginative. You know, like Microsoft Surface.

I got put on the spot today…

IT Business
2 Comments

I had the following conversation with a dear friend who has been in this business as long as I have. For the life of me, I don’t know the answer nor do I have any idea where to begin. His question:

“Things are going pretty tough and I’m thinking about quitting. I have been threading water for a year now, expenses are raising and we are not signing up any new A clients, just shuffling riff raff (his words, not mine). Every time I go into a store I see them providing more and more of my services and then I saw a commercial where Verizon will do all the mobility consulting as well. I don’t see a future.”

I emphasized the last line because that is what really hit me hard as the clear indication of a time to quit. It’s one thing for the market to tell you that you’re a failure – The Geek Squad Dave Syndrome – where your customers won’t pay and you’re stuck in a delusion that it’s not your fault you’re not going anywhere. But when you’ve given up (“I don’t see a future”) then it’s clearly a time to cut and run.

I didn’t know what to tell the guy. I’ve always approached this business with the fundamental understanding that it’s always shifting and changing; that survival depends on our ability to forecast demand and produce solutions for the common problems.

But what do you do if you designed your business for something that was hot and all of a sudden it is not (in his case, managed services). What would you say if you were in my shoes?

Partner Up

ExchangeDefender, OwnWebNow, Shockey Monkey
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If you work with me, you will be getting an email from me over the next 24-48 hours from now. It’s pretty important (to me, to you) so I hope you take a moment to go through it and see if you can benefit from it at all.

To sum it up: Things are going really well at OWN, we are taking advantage of the economy and we’re about to embark on an insane release schedule to expand our solution portfolio which is why we’ve been relatively silent on a number of fronts since last summer. Generally, there is a lag between us announcing something, partner signing customers up and then realizing there are missing pieces. I’m offering some incentives to be more involved in the OWN design process.

This is the extension of the “V…” newsletter, only applied more closely with what I actually work on. While I gave the open community one a shot, I am tired of trying to figure out where the line between the personal and business stuff happens to be – if it doesn’t apply to sleep, it doesn’t apply to newsletters 🙂

SMB Bailout

Gaypile
1 Comment

This has been on my mind somewhat over the past few days and I am not sure if I’m right or not but here it is: I talk to a lot of you and the most frequent question happens to be: “So, if you were me, what would you do right now?”

Answer is always the same – sell everything you own and mail me a check care of Vlad’s Ferrari Collection Fund.

The reason I’ve never really thought about the real answer is the circumstance under which it is asked: I’ve generally described out business model, shared something that’s keeping the lights on at over ten thousand other places, and instead of the person being excited about it they seem to recognize it requires actual effort and if they wanted to work for money they wouldn’t be running their own business.

Therein lies the ugly differentiator between those thriving and others dying. Work. Some say that only suckers work hard. They fall into two groups: successful people and idiots. Successful people already busted their ass to build something, made a ton of money and now get others to put in insane hours. Idiots, on the other hand, expect success without hard work and probably own more than one infomercial get rich scheme.

If it doesn’t work As Seen On TV, why in the world would you figure it would work in SMB? Don’t hold out hope, nobody is going to bail you out: It’s all up to you.

There is no such thing as uptime…

OwnWebNow
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simpson1_wideweb__470x286,2Some things are just depressing. One of the most depressing conversations ever witnessed was between Homer Simpson and Bart Simpson. Bart is complaining about how, after series of embarrassing events, this is the worst day of his life. Homer responds:

“It’s the worst day of your life, so far! 

The most depressing thing I’ve ever heard though has to be credited to Michael Savage (racist homophobe / conservative talk show host):

“There is no such thing as happiness, there are just brief moments of joy.”

One of the things you get to live with, if you want a career in IT, is constant and perpetual state of content with uptime, followed by raging depression of having to balance a few thousand things not to have it all explode. And then it explodes. Son of a #@%#@.

What had happened was…

We have been talking / working / planning a large scale upgrade to OWN’s web hosting infrastructure. My last professional job, prior to starting OWN, was writing control panel software for a web hosting operation. Back then I had a few choices: Webalizer which has continued to blow consistently through the years, spend the money I didn’t have on software I couldn’t justify financially…… or write my own!

Over the years the software had been hacked, secured, patched and rewritten in spurts. The nice thing about it was the overall reliability, look at the uptime on the web hosting sister cluster:

09:13:16 up 517 days, 16:28,  3 users,  load average: 0.51, 0.35, 0.25

Look at the uptime on Shockey Monkey:

09:09:43 up 531 days,  7:29,  1 user,  load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00

Looks similar, eh? Yep, if you scroll through the blog you can actually pinpoint when we did massive power strip upgrade at OWN because we couldn’t reboot f’n Microsoft servers after a patch. 🙂

Over the years the infrastructure running OWN hosting had aged. New, better, more redundant ways (better than active-active clusters) of running massive hosting deployments came around. The old stuff, to it’s credit, was rock solid, reliable, and didn’t bother anybody. But the patch-around-the-big-elephant process was simply no longer possible.

On Friday, our RAID configuration drank some moonshine and blew up the journal. The process of rebuilding the journal would have taken about 8 hours. That is also the interval we had imagined would be required to move to the new “Web 2.0” platform for OWN. Since the new system had been in sync for the past few months (so we could adequately test it) the switch was rather easy. Support systems on the other hand..

fmylife..

I looked around and said: This is the worst day of my life, so far. Looking back, this would have been a great time to just move some drives to the few new systems on the rack, reboot, go out to lunch, order every drink on the menu and float away from my problems.

I did something far dumber. I decided to face the 18 year old Vlad which sucked at programming. Along with the 20 year old Vlad which obviously sucked at change management, the 23 year old Vlad who documented changes.. well.. like a 23 year old 🙂 The stuff that I recall took me two weeks to write originally was now rewritten in less than 45 minutes. Most of that time went to the “WTF???” moments, trying to decipher why some things were done the way they were.

Life in IT…

It is remarkable how much time, man hours, knowledge and experience goes into keeping stuff together. I don’t think explaining complexity, beyond marketing terms, would ever leave anyone at ease about what they are trusting to run their business on. While the interfaces and controls have gotten so user friendly over time that makes this stuff appear easy, keeping the back of it at 99.999% has evolved into something impossible to maintain without an army of highly trained folks that can support a decade of patches, changes, processes and needs. This is why most of your midmarket and enterprise systems, which can’t afford demolish & rebuild IT, runs on dinosaurs-like process and technology. People like the uptime and reliability, and that comes at an expense.

Had this occurred in SMB (and we are talking high 6 figures of hardware) not only would all the data be gone, but it wouldn’t be rebuilt for weeks. When the gamble of good enough holds back the technology to keep things reliable and secure.. it’s only a matter of time until you painfully learn that you are an idiot.

Personally, my idiot day sucked and stretched to suck up most of the weekend. It forced my hand, moved up a project nearly 4 months ahead of time, without warning and likely left a lot of people violently upset 🙁

But here is the beauty of the thing: Only a dozen people noticed anything went wrong at all and none of them had to deal with the technical plan shifted 4 months forward. So back to living the American dream: Can’t someone else deal with it?

For what its worth, I’m not sure what I’d do with myself if my life were any less exciting.

Microsoft BOPS fumbles again

Microsoft
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If Neo only took the blue pill when he was offered the idea of Microsoft hosting everyone would have been happy.

Kevin McLaughlin wrote a fantastic story about yet another Microsoft BOPS flop this week:

http://www.crn.com/software/215801490

In a nutshell, Microsoft executive said BOPS is something partners will have a part in. The statement later got detracted and partners are left on the outside looking in, leaving no future with Microsoft cloud services.

I have defended Microsoft’s decision on BOPS, and taken a lot of criticism for it, because I believe the company simply cannot compete in the Web 2.0 economy with the burden of it’s partner channel.

Was it worth antagonizing it’s partner base, flushing down the loyalty of so many that have built their business on Microsoft, opening the door wide open for open source, Gmail, non-Microsoft solutions and web apps? In Microsoft’s opinion and track record, yes, it was. Again, I agree.

Why man, Why?

I was asked yesterday to comment on Kevin’s story. Why does Microsoft try so terribly hard to control the client, to control the billing, to control everything and not give partners an inch?

Answer: The price.

Microsoft partners depend on markup for the solutions they design and sell. This is why we are doing so well, we understand the partner business. But we aren’t competing against Google, SalesForce, etc. Microsoft is. So Microsoft can’t afford to let partners set the price and lose a bid, they want to get into the client.

Answer: Sell the stack, Bob.

Microsoft partners have always been loyal to themselves and their client. Partner has to make money (see above) but partner also needs to do what is in the best interest of the client in order to keep them, not what is in best interest of Microsoft.

Here we find the ultimate conflict of interest: What is best for Microsoft is not what is best for the client. Microsoft wants to push it’s entire stack, SQL, Server, CRM, Dynamics, Office. On the other hand, partner has no interest in selling solutions that will not make them money and definitely no interest in selling solutions that will remove them from the loop.

Answer: Brand and Experience.

Microsoft lost a fair bit of control over the experience in opening up it’s OS. The nightmare that is Vista, not truth as Arlin suggests, started with the “Vista Ready” emblem that Microsoft originally came up with for machines that could barely run it. Microsoft’s Vista experience was tarnished for so many people and so many businesses, rightfully so, because Microsoft’s partners sold machines that were not ready for it. The real truth is, had you bought a brand new system with Vista you probably wouldn’t have had an issue. Apple controls their entire experience and most of it’s users are all too happy to overpay for it.

Microsoft hopes that it’s mistakes made on the desktop and server do not go on into the cloud. If you look at the Server code, especially Data Center edition which only runs on certified hardware, there are nearly 0 issues with reliability.

Microsoft get’s a chance to build a brand new business.

We are not in 1985 and this isn’t a tiny Microsoft looking for all the friends it can get.

This Microsoft has billions of dollars in revenue, most of it at risk and going concern from Web 2.0, Google, Linux – you’re welcome to read their 10K and financial disclosures – and the investment that they are making in the cloud is one that is void of middlemen.

If you’re a middleman, it sucks to be you. We’d still love to have you tho! Our solution is cheaper than Microsoft’s, comes with 10x more storage, branded experience for your clients and you control the deck. But we don’t have to worry about Google, we only have to worry about our clients.

Microsoft seems to have lost that perspective. And when you shut out people that want to work with you and make you successful, you don’t make it very far. A gamble that is much easier to make when you bring in $30 billion a quarter even when your brand is the subject of daily ridicule.

Fellowship of The Binary Tree

Awesome
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http://digg.com/world_news/The_Silent_Minority_The_Non_Religious

Someone provided the following comment at digg:

So the next time some mormons/jehovah’s witnesses/christians come to your door preaching the bible, go ahead and pull out your biochemistry/computer science/math text books and preach that ***** loud and proud.

Now here is where it gets awesome. Check out one of the followup comments:

And the binary tree said unto its many nodes:

Rejoice in the root node, for it is the beginning of all. No matter your node size, the root node loves you all.

Asked the leaf node:

Am I my sibling’s keeper.

Said the binary tree said to the lowly leaf:

Nay, for your tree is sorted and thus it is your ancestor node who is the designator of your sibling’s position.

If you don’t find this funny, you aren’t a programmer 🙂