How can you be so mean and be so beloved and respected at the same time?

Got an email the other day that, between the lines, asked the following question:

How can you be so mean and be so beloved and respected at the same time?

It’s really pretty simple to tell you the truth. Last month this blog had 1.2 million visitors and thats excluding Google bots and RSS hits. On the adverage I get two dozen fanmails and one death threat a day. People just don’t like to login to comment I suppose. However, I am about to let you in on two secrets:

I am not mean..

Many people self-identify themselves in my posts. Even a blind man can tell that I have no advanced literary training, so how do I seem to write such potent blog posts that seem to hit all the buttons? Easy, because all of the little pokes and huge stabs are the pain points I personally experienced while building this company. You get to see them all the time.

The secret is in not sugarcoating it. Not posting it like a total retard. Not trying to lie about whats going on. It’s there, it’s clear and at times it sucks. However, you’re never left to wonder just where I stand.

I’m a leader..

… and in case you’re wondering, you’re not a “leader” just because you like the title, but because you try to do something new and you deal with the backlash that causes. Sometimes decisions are good, sometimes they are bad but you never know if you don’t try. And that’s the point.

People identify with what I go through because I do not bs about it. They see me overcome things, they see the mistakes that they may be making and of course they get deeply hurt by them. Nobody likes to be called as “too small to get a loan” or “too irrelevant” – so they do one of two things. They close the browser and never come back, continuing on their chosen path, or they look at the situation and decide that the only way not to be looked in that light is to lead themselves out of what is actually causing them to feel bad about what they do.

The point is that it’s not about me, it’s about  you. Nobody would think twice about what I think or feel. If you asked 1,000 people if they cared what I thought, 999 would say no (1 would say “WTF is Vlad?”) – but that “Vlad is mean” and “Vlad sucks” thoughts you may feel are not what causes change, its that little insecurity we all feel about what we may be doing and that someone out there just may have figured it out.

…

So I talk about my life, I state my opinion and this is my personal outlet. People seem to appreciate it and follow it and they write in every day to try and get better. I am here because I had wonderful people that helped me with every step of my career and my company, so I feel the least I can do is to pass it on. So I give entrepreneurs advice, I give corporate employees guidance, I talk to sr. management about trends and attitudes in SMB, I talk to startups about the problems they will see, I write, I talk, I record, I blog and I write.

And people seem to like it. Life is what you make of it and recoginizing that you have the choice and are in control of it is what makes you go further. It also helps being smart about what is irrelevant, who doesn’t matter and when you need to quit.