Insider Tip: Huge Microsoft Acquisition Soon

IT Business, IT Culture

It's Friday folks! Here is a little bit of humor for your weekend, enjoy! Eat your heart out Mary Jo Foley, you've got nothing on me! It no news that plenty of chairs have been flying around Redmond lately. These have been caused by yet another delay to Microsoft Vista, and now to Microsoft Office. Better known as "Microsoft's Cash Cows" these products literally run the business world. The announcement of delays into 2007 has affected the Microsoft stock price, knocked down Nasdaq three days in a row and consequently hurt not just Microsoft but its partners in software publishers, hardware makers, people lonely at Christmas. It has not been a good week for Microsoft. However, I just got off the phone with Steve Ballmer (we chat every friday, I ask whats new there, he asks when OWN is going to offer shell access) and he shared some info with me that he wanted to give Vladville an exclusive crack on. Wow, you are still reading this? Please tell me you get that its a joke? Ok, so here is the skinny: The recent executive changes at Microsoft are nothing more than a cleanup operation. The "new" exec reshufflings have really been high level janitorial appointments and are in process of cleaning up the offices prior execs have been in. I know, I know, they should be able to clean this place up in 10 minutes – oh no, not true. If you've ever been around a high power executive you know they are full of it. However, when required to be accountable for missed deadlines and lost money with a chair coming at their face they tend to explode. Massive cleanup. The rumor? Microsoft has hired George Broussard to run the Microsoft Platforms & Services division. According to Steve what had attracted him to Broussard was his superior management of the Duke Nukem: Forever game and he felt that Broussard gives the company that much needed PR edge. George was not immediately available for comment but did send an email reply saying "Vista will be done when its done. Vlad, STFU imo!"; Coincidentally, Bill Gates also released a press release a few minutes ago titled: "Hail to the King, baby." – apparently 90% of the subsaharan Africa and major parts of SE Asia fell to their knees. Update: Just spoke to George Broussard and we talked at length about the true reason for delays of Vista. There have been many speculations over why the delay was neccessary but George simply said it was the rendering engine behind Vista. Forget about Glass, its all about Unreal rendering technology. He estimated that roughly 60% of the code will have to be rewritten and the switch will likely be completed in six weeks. On the topic of further relases he did mention that we will see a new beta at E3. Update 2: Ok, just got off the phone with Bill (Bill Gates, we're on the first name basis you know) and he mentioned that Broussard is really just the first in the line. He is actually hiring Al Lowe to handle the release of Vista and provide management of the MicrosoftBS unit (Microsoft Dynamics) and take personal ownership of Microsoft SBA. You see, Al Lowe gained fame by claiming they lost a version of Leisure Suit Larry back in the 90's. Gates hopes the same management style can be a win-win for Microsoft who does not seem to get its act together until version 3. Al has been a Microsoft consultant for a while now, as a matter of fact he is the brilliant soul behind R2: "Guys, guys, guys. Instead of releasing a new version lets just bundle all the old crap thats already out there, throw it into a new box, and tell them its the next release?" Hey, it worked before and it worked again!

11 Responses to Insider Tip: Huge Microsoft Acquisition Soon

Comments are closed.