It’s the bad Vlad!

Vladville
6 Comments

Ok, so a week ago I took my wife (29) to see a Dr. Seuss movie and they had two Vlad’s in it. Coming to terms with not going to conferences this year means tons of swag piling up and while I’m not about to pull a Ligman and shell out $150K, I figured it was time to lighten the swag load. So I offered an iPod to the person that leaves the funniest comment on this post. Now, I was going to put it up for a vote, make it fair.. frankly, it wasn’t even close, take a look and I’m sure you’ll agree.

MikeyJ writes:

horton12_502_thumbVlad, Vlad the Riff Raff Regurgitator
Promisin’ Monkeys and an SPF hater.

He’s got a hand on his Weasel
But no Indians in his Bucket
When it comes to sugar coatin’
He just says… “f***it”

He’s the leader at OWN
Defendin’ yo’ inbox…
What happend to the SBSShow?
That s*** rocks

He’s on planes from FLA,
over to the Big D
Spendin’ all his spare time
supportin’ the community

VladFire, VladCast,
an Exchange wiki too
That boy got no time
to even take a poo

He built a Hackintosh
‘cuz the customer’s right
That’s the type of guy he is —
out o’ site

I could keep on rhymin’,
there’s so much to say
But there’s just one reason I hit vladville every day

Vlad’s the man, the one, the only.
Without a blog post, my RSS is lonely.

Thanks to Vlad for all he’s done.
It’s hard to believe he’s only just begun.
Always willing to go the extra mile.
That last line’s just so I can rhyme “gaypile”

Thanks, man, from all the silent lurkers out here.

This is officially the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Vladville, Eat your heart out captain feedback!

SM: Moving the Lists, Ramping Activations & Migrations

Shockey Monkey
4 Comments

sm_desktop_1024x768_thumbTime has come to decommission the Shockeky Monkey mailing lists as they have more than served their purpose. Earlier today a new mailing list server has gone online and I will be moving the content/people/etc to it at some point either tomorrow or Thursday. My hope is to use the current list to drop the final release of the Shockey Outlook VSTO (different from the legacy Outlook agent designed to move contacts, convert emails to support requests, upload tasks and calendars – the 2007 one is built on Visual Studio Tools for Office and is far more robust) as well as Shockey Server (Shockey Monkey agent software for Windows platform monitoring; Rich has been working very hard on the fixes for the hung service so the system can be rebooted). So more on that today.

Today I started to wrap up the new signup management code so that portal creation, activation and branding are more automatic and reliable. I have also tested a significant portion of the migration code (Shockey Monkey 1.x to 2.x) but intend to run our paying OWN Partners by hand to minimize impact to their business operations. In case this doesn’t make sense think of it this way – who is more important than the people that pay OWN salaries? Egg-zactly.

Things are moving pretty darn quick now that everything is done. As I have mentioned before, Shockey Monkey delays are starting to make even Microsoft look good, so as this becomes professional software it will be handled as such in every way.

Slowdown – Vista SP1

Vista
3 Comments

Ok, I know the Service Pack 1 is out and you’re watching it download like a giddy little schoolgirl, but this is a beefy piece of software that should not be applied lightly, especially if you were stupid enough to install release candidates on a production system.

First, backup.

Second, read this blog.

Third, wait. Let someone else blow themselves up first 🙂

Then I guess it’s safe to install 🙂 Conveniently enough, it’s on Windows Update.

If you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla

Shockey Monkey
Comments Off on If you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla

sm_desktop_1280x800

Today is a very proud day for me because I can finally say that Own Web Now Corp gave back in a really big way. One of the best things you can hope for in the IT business is that people love your products. Following that, one of the best feelings is having those same customers go to their peers and tell them to go sell your products and services. On the very top of that IT satisfaction pyramid is when you start working with your clients to provide solutions to their clients, when you see how your work helps people achieve some pretty remarkable things.

When you look at what you’ve created, and when you see what others are able to create because you’ve given them a few more hours in the day, or a little more money, or a little less frustration, you can’t help but to try and do more. Two years, almost to the day, I outlined the vision of truly partnering with my peers and designing the next generation of SMB IT management software. After all, with very few exceptions, we all sell a service yet we are managing our businesses with software that is geared at providing value only to the service provider, a bloated and crippled CRM product with some billing export features. We can do better than that, can’t we? But where is the incentive?

Over the past two years I have been able to team up with my partners, my clients, their clients, people that have never heard of OWN, resellers that have been with us for a decade, and design something that extends our value as a service provider to our customers. I bankrolled the project without OWNs help, wrote about 99% of the code, and got actual partners in designing this software – people ran their business on what was experimental code, people gave feedback on how to improve it, people sent me tshirt pictures from all over the world. I could not be prouder of what has come out of it.

I do have many regrets as well – I wish I didn’t do all this by myself, I wish I initially hired a bunch of people to work on it and provide better support as we went along. I am mixed on my regret because I believe we really would not have come up with the product that it is today without it being squarely on my shoulders – so while I am happy with the result, I do wish to most sincerely apologize to all my partners that missed opportunities because they trusted that I would produce something that would work for them in the long term. Again, this has been a true partnership for a lot of us, both good and bad parts of it, not onesided by a long shot. My biggest regret was not recognizing the volume and scope this project would encompass – I honestly expected maybe 100 people would sign up. Perhaps 500 tops. So I never bothered to write activation scripts, never created advanced signup forms, never really thought there would be a whole lot of people that really saw it my way. By the time I processed 2,800th portal by hand and had to go to ARIN for more IP addresses I finally gave up and shut the doors. But they are opening up again, and yes, it will be free for a while. 

So what have I done?

I will keep it simple – I have designed the software based on the requests of my partners and I have coded in every feature requested and then some.

How’s that? 🙂

I have staffed and trained the helpdesk, and you will even have a phone number to dial for sales and support assistance. I have written a lot of documentation, videos and going forward this will not be a development project, it will be professionally supported and managed software.

Further announcements on the Shockey Monkey mailing list, the new web site is scheduled to go live in a week or two. In the meantime, everyone will be upgraded to Shockey Monkey 2 and put on the new infrastructure. Oh, and if you’d like some eyecandy, here are Shockey Monkey wallpapers:

sm_desktop_1024x768

Shockey Monkey wallpapers:

Full Screen:
1024 x 768
1280 x 1024
1600 x 1200

Widescreen:
1280 x 800
1440 x 900
1680 x 1050

There is a lot of pressure to deliver a rock solid product, I thank all of you who have been in the line for the very long time giving me the chance to prefect Shockey Monkey 2. Personally, I think it was worth the wait. Over the next two weeks I will explain how Shockey Monkey and SMB Buddy fit together, what they are geared towards but if you’ve followed this blog for a while you know who I am, how I work and what my beliefs are. This is just a huge thank you to the people that have put OWN where it is today, that made ExchangeDefender a world leader, and truth of the matter is that many of us are in this for the long term and we want something that differentiates us. Simple as that.

Damn Ostriches

SMB
25 Comments

Nothing makes me happier than getting ignorant emails asking me to take my blog posts down. It’s your choice to be ignorant, if everything is OK and you’re determined there is nothing wrong out there, just stick your head in the sand and let the rest of us that have businesses to run, employees to pay, customers to be responsible to and generally aware of the business ecosystem do our jobs.

ostrich_head_in_ground_Full

To those of you without sand in the ears, curious as to what the problem was:

NEW YORK (AP) — Just four days after Bear Stearns Chief Executive Alan Schwartz assured Wall Street that his company was not in trouble, he was forced on Sunday to sell the investment bank to competitor JPMorgan Chase for a bargain-basement price of $2 a share, or $236.2 million.

The past week has been an incredibly difficult time for Bear Stearns,” Schwartz said in a statement. “This represents the best outcome for all of our constituencies based upon the current circumstances.

So let’s recap. Monday, everything fine. Tuesday, everything fine. Wednesday, things are going great! Thursday, we’re good. Friday, A-ok. Saturday, market closed. Sunday, sell the company for $2/share, effectively a bankruptcy, potential loss of 15,000 jobs.

What happened on Saturday? Did they get a $39 late charge fee on their Visa bill and they couldn’t cover it? Someone mug the CEO who just happened to have 16 billion dollars in assets on him at the time? Did the repo man come over and take their fridge so they don’t want people in the office? What happened?

What happened is that there was a whole lot of lying going on about how screwed some of these banks are and the weight of the bag of insolvent debt they are dragging. All these banks, including the President of United States of America, are collectively staring straight at the camera and lying to everyone about how deep in trouble we are in hoping we don’t catch on to the fact that behind the scenes they are buying each other for $2 and the fake monetary system is used to move around fictional money not based on a gold standard from one empty bucket to another.

There is a difference between denial and outright lying. Denial is saying that we’re not in a recession. Saying that everything is OK and then bankrupting the company four days later while admitting that “this past week has been an incredibly difficult time” is lying.

Bonus Round

The blog post is not going down but I have a business question for you to answer:

Assume that all financial, lending, credit and borrowing systems are connected, worldwide. [Check] Assume that the companies that manage/run/operate those companies are now filing bankruptcies or selling for $2/share which is below the market value of even their headquarters. [Check] Assume credit is almost impossible to obtain. [Check] Loss of jobs [Check] Loss of value in your home that is impossible to liquidate under current circumstances [Check] Loss of 401K, mutual funds, real estate and other investments [Check] Increase in energy costs [Check] Political uncertainty [Check]

You run an IT Solution Provider business that grows as the current customers grow or new businesses get started. If the current businesses are downsizing and there is no new business, how does your company grow? (one man shops substitute “salary” for “company”)

How is that for starting a debate?

Now let’s make it nasty. Your possible answers are:

A. There is no recession, business is up and will always continue to go up so long as we make minor adjustments to our course as we go along. (This is remarkably similar to the stance the CEO of Bear Sterns took, look above, right before the giant wave of reality destroyed his business a few short days later.) If you picked this answer you are a fucking moron, let me save you some time and point you straight to the form.

B. Sell the customers Windows Server 2008, Windows Small Business Server 2008, Windows Essential Business Server 2008 and show how an investment in new infrastructure will reduce operating costs and make the business more productive while realizing savings. You are still an idiot, albeit an enterprising one, I would like to offer you a 100% commissioned sales job at Own Web Now.

C. Sell the customers managed services, which cost far less than the internal IT employee salary for keeping the company technology infrastructure together. (Hope they don’t read the fine print at the bottom of the contract where it says you will only manage their infrastructure after it’s brought “up to spec” meaning a massive upgrade and redesign of a network glued together by someone that spent four days of the workweek on a torrent site trying to leech down the new cracked version of Vista activation server.)

D. None of the above.

So what is the solution? Well, planning, for one.

Dreams, hallucinations and denial? Not so much.

Listen, these aren’t girl scout cookie stands disappearing. These are the biggest banks in the world, folding under the pressure of insurmountable and unpayable debt, generated by the economic indulgence that likely fueled the growth of businesses that you have grown your own enterprise on top of. We aren’t losing a farm, an economic sector, a state or even a really big building – we are losing the very top of our financial world which fuels everything we do and in turn makes it possible. The very top is crumbling, admitting that it cannot live up to its obligations, admitting that things are bad, wasting jobs, financial portfolios, tanking property values, soaring energy costs… This isn’t some highrise getting blown up (WTC), a company wiped out by criminal activity of its management (Enron), a town flooded (New Orleans) or a bad roll of dice in Las Vegas. 

I beg you, please start thinking about it! This does, or rather soon will, affect you.

It was nice while it lasted..

Gaypile
5 Comments

58The American economic prosperity, let it rest in peace.

1776 – March 17, 2008.

JP Morgan buys Bear Sterns for $2/share. Federal Reserve drops interest rate on bank loans to 3.25%. Asians flushed down the toilet too.

Poof.

The coming age of marketing accountability

Gaypile, Web 2.0
2 Comments

Integrity matters. Humble pie is tasty.

For close to a decade, Internet used to be an awesome place for deceitful sociopaths. That kind of environment, full of anonymity and unaccountability, is a great breeding ground for some spectacular outright shameful lies marketing strategies. But as Ashley Dupree found out this week, there is no hiding on the Internet from who you are. Especially if you are being judged on the daily basis by your customers, business partners, employers or politicians.

Over the past two years I saw two of my friends outright destroy their online identities because they did not want their personal, private, life to interfere with their work. They also get the double handicap for being girls (likely inbox full of “I’d tap that”) and dealing with the juvenile male Internet. The first girl worked in the public sector in charge of bringing businesses into the local economy to build up the job market. Unfortunately for her, she is an Irish catholic republican and makes Peter from the Family Guy look like a saint. She had to blow up her entire blog because her personality virtually guaranteed she would never be able to make it in the public eye. The other friend is an extroverted party girl that works in the software industry. She blew up her Facebook profile because even though the minxy chick at a social event gets you all sorts of contacts, it does not translate well into corporate promotions based on black and white out of context notes backed by the spite of office politics.

The sad thing is, what guarantees corporate climb makes you a total bitch that nobody wants to hang out with. What makes you a macho man party animal translates into a stack of sexual harassment lawsuits.

This is nothing new. People in the spotlight were always judged, always quoted out of context, always had their private lives violated and everything ever done used against them at the most inopportune times.

What is new is that the social Internet is putting everyone and everything into the spotlight. Everyone you ever encountered becomes a viable, relevant, reference. I had the privilege of growing up in South Florida and going to the high school in the hood (I know, hard to believe) so by the time I got to the University of Florida I got calls from Miami Herald about my former classmates doing everything from homicide to serial jewelry robberies (Go Dragons, Class of ’07, release date of ’22). Everyone, everywhere, and at any time in the past becomes a quotable reflection of your character and how you life your life.

So if you want to live and work in this century you have to come to terms with who you are and how you represent yourself. You can’t hang on to your secret personality and change clothes in the telephone booth. You have to let go of your inner sociopath, put away that second personality you’ve got going on, stop changing your clothes in the telephone booth and just be who you are. If you are going to be judged, be judged for who you really are.

0312084kristen1

It doesn’t matter if you’re fucking the governor or if the global network of computers is fucking you, the age of deceit and dishonesty is coming to an end. Embrace fame, and yourself. Remember, you’re selling yourself all the time to everyone.

I am not the bunny Vlad that makes the cookies!

Misc
11 Comments

So what kind of a Vlad am I?

horton12_502

The person with the most original comment/answer wins an iPod! Multiple answers allowed, contest not open to OWN employees/friends/family, ends Wednesday, March 19th.

Ouch, the death of SBSC

IT Business, Microsoft, SMB
Comments Off on Ouch, the death of SBSC

Due to the popular and seemingly angered demand, here is a blog post for you today. In the few years that I’ve posted here on nearly daily basis I’ve encouraged you to take these rambling, incoherent, grammatically and politically incorrect posts not as the gospel from some all-knowing entity but to just think consider them and hopefully start a blog of your own and discuss them. Wonderful things happen when we talk, when we take enough pride in our work to discuss it in the open and hopefully let others understand just why we do what we do. Maybe we even learn something new or find an error in our ways.

So my thought for today is, whose fault will it be when the SBSC is dead?

If it would make it easier to consider this, whose fault is it that the Firewall Dashboard from Scorpion Software is dead. Now Firewall Dashboard is a commercial product by one of the best friends and peers you can have in this business, Dana Epp. Dana has made enormous contributions to the community, from presentations, to blogs, to conferences, to user groups, to all the MVP stuff, and a ton more than I can account for here or that even Dana could put on an expense report. Time is money, right? This guy gave and gave, and will continue to contribute to community, because great people like Dana do not see the community as the brief marketing outlet, or a stepping stone to the next promotion. He is our peer. But today, according to Wayne, SMB community has lost a great product and very likely a great vendor that supported and understood the needs of the SMB community. Wayne goes on a little further to explain the connection between community investment and the types of products built for the businesses that people in our community serve. He goes further to say:

“So the next time a vendor makes a great product like this go out and buy it.  Don’t continue to use it in “trial mode” if it’s giving you value.  Don’t complain that vendors don’t build product for the SMB space either.  They do and we continue to screw it up by not supporting them.”

http://blog.sbsfaq.com/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?ID=141

Who can we blame?

If I am going to channel a VAR, the easiest person to blame here would be Dana, since it’s never my fault and he’s the face of it so it’s easy to take a potshot at a reputable IT leader in hopes that my miniscule penis will grow beyond 1.75″. Dana is just a bad businessman, he made a product available for free and I am not some dirty stinking vendor that takes peoples money for software, I am a noble IT consultant who gets compensated for the time and expertise to recommend the best product for the client and implement the cheapest possible solution that saves everyone money. So what if it has a watermark?

If I am going to channel a horrible, inhumane vendor, I would say its the customers fault. They refused to support my product, I do not have unlimited funds so screw this, I am going to make software that people want to pay for.

But since I am both a vendor and a VAR in this space, I am going to try to explain a compromise here. The compromise is that for the most part VARs are not good businessmen (if they were, 99% of this space wouldn’t be one employee and a cat/dog plus spouse on part time basis), that vendors do not have the level of funds required to properly market and target the kinds of VARs that can make them profitable in this segment.

But blame never really accomplishes much because the ultimate loser in the entire equation is the SMB customer.

Why this even matters….

This matters because it explains why things are so bad in SMB IT, why there are so few solutions specifically created for this space and most importantly – why your vendors are trying to go around you and direct to your customer. The reason is, SMB VARs have no loyalty to the vendor. One bad release and you’re through. One cheaper reasonable alternative and you’re out the door. The product that made a ton of money for years was replaced in 2005 and you’ve got nothing good to say about them – they suck but you haven’t tried them since. Hey, those are the breaks.

But it’s not entirely the VARs fault. The reason VARs have so little loyalty is because the vendors have a split second attention span when it comes to VAR demands, needs and complaints. Everything is brushed aside, will be fixed in the next version, we’re trying to address the issue – all while the people you’ve formed relationships with keep on getting promoted to bigger and better jobs. The SMB VAR apathy is well earned.

We all know this, both the VARs and the software publishers, so how do we change? How do we do better? How do we improve?

From a vendor to another vendor, avoid the SMB community like a plague. Advertise, but do not buy the ring just yet.
From a VAR to a VAR, buy the products that serve your customers the best. Likewise, do not look for a marriage.

Over time, vendors will be able to look at their balance sheets, find the good, smart people in the VAR game and find a way to get their advice and help them grow. VARs will tell one another, recommendations will make the product successful far more than advertising, sponsorships and talking about how the great the product will be.

Now, what do we do with the other 90% of the market, both solution providers and software publishers? That in fact is the death of the SBSC

The Death of The SBSC

Microsoft Small Business Specialist Community, is in my opinion, the greatest gift to the SMB sector any software publisher has ever provided. Global presence, local involvement, sales assistance, marketing collateral, free training, free priority support, free presentations, free trucks, tshirts, swag and more all for the people who choose to ask.

But what happens to this wonderful SBSC community if the actual community shows no support for it? What happens to those telePAMs that everyone loves to hate? What happens to all the trucks if you aren’t relying on them? What happens to the licensing models, promotions and incentives if you don’t take advantage of them? What happens with PAMs, PCMs, PALs and other resources as they go unappreciated and underutilized?

What happens when after years of trying Microsoft suddenly realizes that the 90% of the SBSC community will never really turn into a business, but is only in this as an immaterial participant that is perpetually on the sidelines of going from their basement to the corner office?

What happens when Microsoft realizes that the only function of the SBSC is to help find those 10% of VARs that actually make it up the certification and business process enough to extend big time resources to and make a true partner – not just a target to throw tshirts and pens at?

What happens when Microsoft kills the SBSC as we know it today and just makes it an entry point into the Microsoft partner program where those who run a VAR business separate themselves from people who like taking money for playing with computers?

That is the day the SBSC dies. Who will we blame then? Will we be able to beat down Dave Overton for drowning little kittens in a lake? Will we blame Eric Ligman for the bass in his voice that blew out our speakers? Will we blame Steve Ballmer for not jumping around yelling “SMB VARS. SMB VARS. SMB VARS.”

I know it is a delicious fantasy to hold on to the image of software publishers with billions of dollars of marketing and not an ounce of fiscal responsibility. I know its easy to call out the idiot VARs for their lack of commitment. I know its very easy to pin one pile against the other, all while everyone sits around and protects their turf.

But I will share something with you folks, something that I hope sticks with you because you’ve read this long post and at least you care. The big, ugly, fundamental truth no matter which pile you are in is that we look for hungry, ambitious people that are not afraid of hard work. Those are the guys and gals that make it. Those are the partners that you want, be it a vendor or a VAR. Successful people tend to hang out around other successful people because they find motivation in the people that work for where they are, they learn from them and most importantly – they see the person that values hard work and show a bit of faith that they would work just as hard for me.

The rest is riffraff, and if you’re in it that’s your own damn fault – and the blame for that is very easy to place.

BB in 1 Week with Monkey & Weasel

OwnWebNow, Shockey Monkey
7 Comments

After two years of pushing this stuff forward by myself (and a few thousand partners) the time has finally come to put the Own Web Now monster behind The Monkey and The Weasel and let it out of my direct control. What this basically means is that I’m in for a week of documenting, explaining and selling the idea of the entire OWN enterprise, everything we run and support, tying together with everything and everyone we work with.

What this means is more money, more time on development and yes, phone and full support for the Monkey. Unfortunately, it is going to take all my time as well as everyone you know and work with at OWN so expect the things to be a little slow at OWN this week. I will not be available on the phone, no blog, no IM and if you have a big issue that you email me about either use the portal or you’ll get a response in a week.

See you next Monday.