Things that piss Vlad off

SMB
11 Comments

Monday, time for the weekly pep talk.

There are really only two things that piss me off about this blog and I’m pretty sure that you won’t be able to guess them. If you scroll through the comments you’ll find plenty of examples.

“Dude, you work too hard..”

Oh really Jimmy Joe Bob, have you discovered the f’n missing link between the hard work and success? What do you think, someone just gave me all this one day for the good dental hygiene? If I was born with all this knowledge then I sure wasted a lot of damn time in college, in webcasts, in seminars and on the road taking in conferences, training folks, giving speeches.

If you are waiting for someone to just “give it to you” then go stand in the unemployment line.

“It would be great if I could get all of that without having to work for it..”

I get a lot of this on the phone too.

Oh, I would love to have you just teach me step by step what needs to be done in each situation.

Oh, I don’t like to read, can you make a podcast about it?

Oh, I wish I could do that but I just don’t have the time, could you sum it up for me?

Oh, I know you write about that stuff all the time with over 2,500 posts on vladville.com but could you post it again because I have an attention span of a shit fly.

In my years on the road and working with the partners I’ve had the joy of meeting a few idiots. Maybe a handful. I’d say less than 50 in total. Considering how many people I know, thats nothing. Most people I work with are very smart. All these people have plans, have process, have ideas, are executing. What are they executing? Not a whole heck of a lot, judging by the fact that they have the same problems year-over-year and don’t seem to have made an inch worth of progress since the day I met them.

Why? Cause it’s hard. I have to keep on learning. Things keep changing. I’m too stressed, I can work only 3 days a week and if someone is rude to me I need a mini vacation.. Are you kidding me? Does that even work for four year olds? Why in the world would it work when you’re fourty? Hint: See point #1.

Everyone keeps on looking for a shortcut. There must be some process that you’re not in on. All the people that are growing and prospering must have some trick that they haven’t let you in in. Maybe I should just peer up with others who have as little clue as I do or maybe I should keep on revising my plan every two months?

There is no secret. There is no shortcut. There is no peer solution for lazy. There is no magic blog post to cure cluelessness. There is no lifestyle buffer between business ownership and unemployment.

You just aren’t working hard enough. Really, that’s all there is to it. Read all about it in my upcoming book “SMB ENTERPRISE WHITEPAPER”, available as a preorder for $49.95. Condensed for the busy professional on the go, just one page, just one paragraph.

Stop making excuses. Stop at looking at the grass on the other side of the fence. Stop thinking you’re special. Stop looking for motivation. Just take a huge break from all the things you are doing on the side to distract yourself from working on what you’re actually supposed to be working on.

spfnationpress

And if the prospect of that brings you down, if you can’t find energy in what you do, if you aren’t up at 2am trying to get better at what you do and aren’t willing to work hard and be happy with the blessing that is the ability to build your own company and serve people in your own way then why the f… even bother pretending? For a set of steak knives?

It’s Monday. Are you here to work or not?

Shockey Monkey Mail Connector

Shockey Monkey
1 Comment

Note: This is not the same thing as the Shockey Outlook which is a Microsoft Outlook addin that allows you to click on the email and promote it to a support request with one click, or one click upload of contacts, tasks and calendar appointments. It is an email gateway that allows everyone to create new tickets in the portal just by sending an email to your support@ email address. It also supports conversations through the support@ alias, allowing you to respond to the portal and use the SLA framework to properly categorize/escalate the ticket and send proper notifications as you go along. I do not recommend the use of this feature to anyone.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I have a new experimental feature to share with you. It is called Mail Connector, it allows you to create and update tickets through email.

In your portal you will find a new tab under Settings called “Experimental Features”; Click on it and look for your Mail Connector email address. Note the text in red. Your Mail Connector address is of xyz@tree.shockeymonkey.com

Implementation

Pick an available alias on your domain and forward it to the xyz@tree.shockeymonkey.com address.

WARNING: DO NOT MAKE THE ALIAS ADDRESS THE SAME AS YOUR BUSINESS CONTACT INFORMATION EMAIL AS LISTED UNDER SETTINGS > BRANDING. DOING SO WILL CURRENTLY CREATE AN UNBREAKABLE INFINITE LOOP.

Features

Mail Connector does the following:

  • Email to the Mail Connector address from an unknown email address is rejected.
  • Email to the Mail Connector address from a known email address creates a new ticket.
  • Response to the email generated by the Mail Connector address updates the ticket.
  • Response to the email generated by the Mail Connector are only applied if they come from the administrative account (companyid 1 or 2) or from the company that originated the ticket (any user within the company)
  • Administrative response (companyid 1 or 2) to the Mail Connector address will update the ticket.
  • ALL Mail Connector updates follow the defined SLA which can be granular with respect to the senders email address, so you can create specific filters for specific email addresses and sort them into adequate queues.

In short, Shockey Monkey Mail Connector is an email interface to your portal allowing you to create and update support requests through email on any device and still keep the SLA framework in place.

By the time 2.0 ships I plan to fully implement this feature and make it configurable (on/off), as well as split the mail confirmation sending address and archival copy sending address. Currently those addresses are identical, so if the message is sent to the archive and the same address is used to loop back to the Mail Connector feature which then generates the autoresponse saying that the ticket has been updated and then sends a copy back to itself which loops it back over and over and over again. So please, please be careful.

Promote Andy Lees

Apple
5 Comments

Over the past year or so I have been trying to offer an amplified voice to the challenges the ITPRO community is feeling around the Microsoft brand. One of my major gripes with Redmond is the near absence of marketing or competitive response to the constant beatdown by the competitors. At this point it is probably too late for Microsoft to respond as millions of dollars have already gone far enough to encourage people to look at something other than Microsoft when it comes to technology spending for their business.

However, I would like to personally congratulate Andy Lees, Sr. VP of Microsoft Mobile Communications Business for figuratively whipping out his big fat black dick using it to bitchslap the Apple iPhone crachwhore up and down the 36 cracktown blocks.

That’s how I’d put it, but for a more PC version check out Fortune Apple 2.0: Microsoft packs 36 iPhone digs into one 7-paragraph letter. So far this is the best blog post of the year, and definitely the best news release of the year. It’s not every day that Microsoft brags about having an open platform and 150 different phone choices (none suitable for even basic web browsing but let’s not nitpick).

Is this letter too little too late? Time will tell, I for one will get the iPhone the moment they deliver full EAS support. Let’s hope Microsoft figures out how to take a few of those billions of dollars in the bank and spend it on customer-facing marketing instead of waiting for its partners to do it.

How great software gets made

Shockey Monkey
7 Comments

There is a comment bot (or someone with entirely too much time) that pings me whenever a day goes by without a blog post or a comment. Daily Dose of Vlad. Seriously, if you can’t dig up another source of technical filth on the Internet we’re going to have to shut it down. Here you go, hope you laugh. If you’re British I hope you’re offended.

How great software gets made

I’m sure that if you’ve read between the lines over the past two weeks or so you’ve noticed a fair bit of frustration in my writing. It has been an unusually frustrating time in my professional life but not because you may think – When you’re an ISP for over 10 years you get used to dealing with idiots allergic to documentation that want you to provide it to them that its not your fault. So work doesn’t bother me, positive stuff doesn’t do so much for me because frankly people kiss my ass and love what we do all day and night. However, when things turn ugly I find motivation because its an opportunity to improve and get better. Just how I work I suppose.

So yesterday I decided to squash my month-long angst towards billing side of Shockey Monkey and I decided to sit down and finally just bang it out. But you can’t just sit down and write software. Not good software at least.

First, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings and I ordered a Hurricane and asked it be “as strong as you can legally make it” and to my surprise they came just short of it being straight rum. That will get you started at 11am!

The rest of the day I spent hanging out with my son. At about 6 PM I decided to get on the Wii and work on getting a 1000 rank in boxing.

So let’s recap. Get drunk. Check. Get half naked and pound air in front of your TV in the living room until you are coated with sweat. Check. Start coding.

What I came up with after that is slightly hazy but incomplete to say the least. Here are my major design shortcomings:

  1. For a true syncronization to work I need to mirror the data between the accounting software and Shockey Monkey. Things like account identifiers, invoices, amounts, etc. When one gets adjusted so should the other. Nobody in their right mind would do that.
  2. Getting the experience to be the same across multiple accounting platforms is a huge problem. For example, some systems limit invoice item notes/description to a 256 varchar field. Others will take an entire book. There isn’t a consistent way to do this.
  3. The way most consulting shops bill is on the time rendered during the week/month/quarter. The way Shockey Monkey logically filters items for billing is by waiting for the ticket to be closed. So I got about 24 hours to redraw the schema and my billing code to reflect the incomplete issue billing.

Now, why destroy your mind and body before trying to mess with the above? Because anyone with the ounce of sanity the above would have been a two second solution: It is what it is, adjust to my software and just suck it. K? Not quite what I’m going for.

So after the conference call today when I realized all I did to this point is pretty much broken I just sat there and spaced out and thought of the Shockey Monkey tagline. No, not the “Making IT Management Fun” but the more polite version Chris Rue designed specifically for the UK market: “Better than snorting coke of the hookers ass” after someone from UK actually bothered to call me and complain about the title and how it offended their sensibilities, and how a picture of my comment on ETAs offended the even more (can’t find the picture anymore, but its our official ETA guidance picture with me and the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland).  

Core frustration 

My biggest frustration is that I am (yet) unable to make this ridiculously simple. Most of the IT space has a fantastically simple job. We sell products and then we sell services, either in bundles or metered. Doesn’t get simpler than that. The software should eliminate all complexity from the “getting paid” part of the equation and it should be immediately obvious what needs to be done. Work on the ticket, update ticket, add time, close ticket, click on accounting, click on a link print the invoice and either email and ask for money or mail and ask for money. So simple, so beautiful. The only thing complicating it would be the 3,000 different accounting packages 🙁

But, it’s 1:30, I’m working on it and should have something simple by the weekend.

If you’re not on Shockey Monkey I am sad to say that the beta is closed until the product goes commercial which should have been this Monday but obviously didn’t happen. I appreciate your interest and hope you understand that due to the size of the beta it would be difficult for me to effectively support more than the 3,000 people on it so far. I appreciate the interest, and if you can’t wait for it I do recommend Connectwise. Call Arnie and tell him Vlad sent you and scream Go Gators after you mention that part. Hopefully gets you a discount.

Another Office Alternative: Adobe Acrobat.com

Web 2.0
Comments Off on Another Office Alternative: Adobe Acrobat.com

Ok, things are starting to get interesting in the online Office suite game, we’re moving past the AJAXified web pages straight into fully interactive stuff. Check it out, available now: www.acrobat.com; Tagline “Work. Together. Anywhere”

Sarah has a great writeup of it here.

What’s in it? Word processor, files, data sharing and desktop sharing for online meetings / collaboration. Not quite a play on Zoho or Google Apps or even Microsoft Office Live – but definitely a level above it. Leading with the premium product (desktop sharing for web meetings) is definitely gutsy.

Still a beta, but well worth the look.

Ride the tech wave or drown fighting it…

IT Business
5 Comments

Running a transparent business can have it’s advantages – every time one of my kids says something in a public forum I can count on dozens of opinions coming back to my inbox. It’s nice to see that we are participating and being welcomed to do it at the same time, makes me feel really good about what we are doing here.

Mel-Gibson---Braveheart--C10101922Today a few items hit my inbox about the conversation over SaaS reliability and the expectations of cloud services vs. onsite box. The comments over it were particularly interesting because it highlights a common fear that SMB has when it comes to the cloud services. Most sensible of people turn into paranoid freaks standing with the flaming torch at their gateway interface with Braveheart face paint screaming at the network packets:

“You can have my search, but you will never take our data!”

Ok, so that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time because puts people that should be encouraging the development and use of emerging technology where it makes sense to give business scale and flexibility. Instead, some of these people are drawing a line in the sand, putting their toys behind their back and trying to use fear and paranoia as a means to discourage the giant wave of innovation that is about to crush their sandbox and wash it out.

Folks, you can’t fight this stuff. It’s coming. You need to embrace it. You cannot hide behind the giant sand walls and the blue/white face paint, head in the ground pretending like nothing new or relevant is going on out there. The world has changed. Live it. Love it. If you can’t deal with the change then you’ve picked a wrong ucking profession.

My customers would never…

SMB consultants have this emotional attachment to their client base that Microsoft propaganda seems to have only deluded them into believing it exists – trusted advisor role. At the end of the day you have a business relationship with your clients and if you aren’t comfortable with it being just that consider just how trusted you will be if you don’t have their best interest in mind when delivering this advice.

Your customers will leave you if you aren’t doing what they want.

The big blue frustration…

This is specifically where I have the most beef with Microsoft. It’s not the licensing. It’s not the broken products, pullbacks, re-re-re-releases, security nightmares. It is not even being shamed into obscurity by all counts on the marketing. It is Microsoft’s refusal, as my largest partner, to take a lead in the new changed world. Instead of powering the next generation of computing with innovative solutions Microsoft is sticking to the foundation which has been crumbling for years and they are treating these new opportunities as the proving grounds for the third world B2 rejects and weekend research projects for the midlevel managers who have lost their passion and innovative thinking a decade ago.

It’s not that we chose to go in a different direction than Microsoft because we don’t like Redmond, it’s that our clients have dictated that they don’t want Just Microsoft anymore. Clients are riding the new wave where the Mac dominates the techno-social status reflection of an executive as much as a Presidential Rolex does. It’s a world where you have an iPhone or a Blackberry and you don’t care that its not the most secure or the most flexible/integrated solution available. It’s a world in which the applications, storage, management and communications are not confined to a single box, hidden behind a single firewall or tied to a single solution provider. As one of our clients recently said: “Screw better together, look how pretty this UI is. What does Microsoft have? That Windows 3.1-themed mobile experience from 92?”

As a solution provider, it is our goal to serve our clients and provide the solutions they demand that let them run their business in the way they envision it. Face it, clients are more tech savvy now and if you think you’re facing resistance you’ve seen nothing yet. Furthermore, if you think you can fight it with “we don’t do that” excuse you don’t stand a chance.

You are NOT the father…

maury_povich_1995Taking the punchline (video for foreigners, please watch it) from Maury Povich, you are not the father of the technology toddlers that you feel make up your client base. I know that the technical superiority and the fact that you’ve been paid to provide your advice comes with the assumed responsibility to shield the client from making a horrible mistake, but please don’t take it to the extent that you feel it is your duty or even your place to preach to your clients the ten commandments of how SMB IT should be done. Not because it makes you immediately disrespectful, but because that is not how you succeed in business.

As Samantha mentioned, and as we say around here every day, it is not our duty to change our clients but to provide solutions to them that they hired us for. Call it cowardly, call it the path of least resistance, call it foolish or even trend following.. we call it our business to stay on the wave and ride it.

Do you run a technology company or a correctional facility? Nobody is asking you to change the world, just open your eyes and help those that ask for it with the details on how to navigate it to make their dreams come true.

Oh, and here is the invoice for that help…

Not singing with the choir in 2008

Microsoft
5 Comments

I guess I am going to be the only SMB blogger not to say anything about SBS or EBS this week, wherever the Koolade was spiked I sure wasn’t around to drink it.

Microsoft Windows 2003 will be the last version of Small Business Server that Own Web Now offers en-masse.

Too big for smallbiz..

This was a strict business decision for us as an organization not to support Microsoft’s “integration” server projects because of the changing demands by the marketplace. On the low end, which finds SBS the most appealing, we are seeing budget crunches leaving customers with file servers and cloud hosting.

Too limiting for complex smb…

On a slightly more complex environments, we consider SBS a liability to our ability to get customers to grow at the pace and in the direction that they need to. Getting tangled up in wizardry limits an SBS clients ability to scale out components seamlessly – something that has cost us dearly with Exchange 2007’s introduction. Most clients that wanted Exchange 2007 were forced to wait because there was no quick way to rip out Exchange 2003 from SBS. Same with SharePoint v3, moving the team site from SBS to standalone was not easy.

SBS simplicity comes at a greater cost than its complexity..

The cost of migrating off SBS is far higher than the initial license savings and the setup costs. Since we are the ones designing, deploying, managing and integrating these solutions in the SMB we do not benefit from the benefits SBS brings to people that are not server admins. Our upcoming framework gives us central management of all assets, systems and configurations so the quirky ways in which SBS is setup (Transition Pack ring a bell) are far too costly.

For example, my team can have a full Exchange 2007 deployment completed within the hour. By comparison, a swing migration can take far more than that involving a lot more touches.

Solution sales, not product sales..

Going forward, we’re putting our might behind solutions and benefits, not products. Even in a limited choice of solutions SBS was not a very recognizable brand. With the new world of cloud everything, Google this, Zimbra that and so on we’re opting to sell on benefits and we felt more confident in our ability to deliver them on Windows 2008 server than SBS

It’s not about the price..

Complex small and midmarket environment is not very price sensitive. If they are, I can kill anyone with a hosted proposal and if thats what they want, thats what we provide.

SBS 2008 pricing is delicious, I will give them that, but our customers do not happen to be price sensitive. We are. Bulk of our project work is in midmarket and enterprise and there seemed to be very little in the SBS to make us want to train staff on it when we can just use the solutions SBS was built on. So we don’t get every trinket available, life goes on, in the long term we expect our cost of moving and growing off 2008 Standard, Enterprise and Virtualized to be far, far less than what they were with 2000, 2003 and our final move – to 2008.

….

I expect Susan to write a retraction to this and pick apart each point bit by bit as if it wasn’t made by someone who is responsible for thousands of Windows servers and runs a business aware of which parts of the products make money and which ones are losers 🙂 I’m not discouraging the use of SBS, just explaining why I (or we) feel that the opportunity for our company and cost to our partners is more beneficial with 2008 servers than SBS and EBS. If you are interested in looking anyhow, David has the best review of SBS 2008 so far.

Disturbing: "The Millennials"

IT Business
5 Comments

The other day I wrote about Zappos.com giving “$1K offer to quit” to someone that worked there for a week to test their loyalty to the company. Last night, I watched a full 60 minutes segment on the “Millennials” and frankly I found the whole piece very disturbing. I also found it far-fetched, nothing like the college students I interact with. One particularly bothersome excerpt:

“It is no longer a problem to have four jobs on your resume during the past year.”

“I can go down the street and they will treat me better and probably pay me more money.”

The generation of instant gratification is here. But man does it have a rude awakening ahead of it. First, I always like to look at who the bitch is (see Vlad vs. Microsoft) and who needs who more. In the coming superstorm of elitist entitled entry level employees, how much of their roles will be pushed towards automation and third world markets where people would love a job?

Second, the expectation that the grass is greener on the other side is in a direct conflict with the entrepreneurs sense of investment. Let us for the moment assume that the millennials are more technically savvy and demand a high starting wage. Let us also assume they work a job in the technology service arena, where the retraining is all but required every two years. Who is paying for the training?  That’s right, I am. And guess who gets the training, who gets the conference passes, etc? The people who have my best interest in heart, not just their own.

If you think you can only think about yourself and sustain your skills for the salary you wish, you need to show both loyalty and sacrifice. Either we’re both investing in each other or the exploitation is the name of the game.

“I have been told I am special, why should I sacrifice for the company and give it my all? I don’t want to wait for it, I want it now.”

Fantastic thinking. McDonalds commercial, right? Well, prepare to work there.

During 90’s McDonalds ran tons of commercials about getting what you want, NOW! And some apparently made this a chosen lifestyle.

The problem with that is that they likely also saved exactly $0 if not dug deep in debt. Guess what happens with your salary bargaining power, ability to switch employers, relocate, train for the new role or take a new contract when you’re up to your eyeballs in your instant gratification bills?

It doesn’t work like that. You are not special. You are not smarter.

You’re gullible. The business world does not tolerate quitters and slackers, it does not reward the path of least resistance, it does not embrace the Hakuna Matata you saw in the cartoons.

How do you work this thing?

SMB
3 Comments

Yesterday’s article is really bringing a lot of attention, glad you liked it. To be honest, I am still very involved in the technical side of Own Web Now, especially the new generation of products, but I have stopped blogging about them because they brought in far too much tech support via email form that said “don’t email me your tech support issues, take them to Microsoft newsgroups”; But since Exchange 2007 won’t be touched by SBSers for quite some time I can talk about it without fear.

A while back someone said they would pay to have me teach about how I work this stuff, particularly the troubleshooting, deployment and management. I played it off politely and modestly, very much unlike vladville.com, but the reason why you don’t see these kinds of presentations in SMB and the reason you will not see these kinds of technical presentations in the SMB space is that at their very core they are both too simplistic and too complex for the audience. Contradiction? Not really. Most of this stuff is very simple once you know the basics and know where to look for.

Let me take you through the thinking process step by step, yesterdays post for example:

First, I checked the site through the web browser. This told me that the web server works, that the domain did not expire, that the DNS is properly pointed at the server. This effort took all of five seconds, but it did not send me down a path of troubleshooting a problem that does not exist. For example, there is no need to restart IIS – if it gave you an error code that means its working so you need to check its logs or App/System log for errors.

Second, usual suspects. Check that stores are mounted, check that the app pools are started, general service checks.

Third, event log – what is causing the actual problem. This is time consuming exactly once. That first time you realize what the problem is, what the solution is and how it gets solved.

That is so simplistic that it would take two minutes to explain, but if you were an SBSer and didn’t know the basics and just pushed wizards over and over this would be a 6 day overview covering everything from how the Internet works all the way to registering ASP.NET correctly.

Anyhow, I just wanted to offer an explanation for why you’re not seeing in-depth technical training in SMB — the basics are far too complex for beginners and the solutions are, dare I say it, obvious to anyone that understands the basics.

Funny how that is all that separates people making teens per hour as opposed to six figures a year, eh?

Exchange 2007, OWA 2007 and "Service Unavailable" after new software installation

Exchange
29 Comments

So Howard emails me yesterday about a problem he’s been trying to figure out. His Outlook Web Access 2007 on the Exchange 2007 installation suddenly stopped working. Nothing changed 🙂

There are many reasons why Outlook Web Access 2007 will give you the “Service Unavailable” error message, mostly because the mail/public databases are not running, something you will be able to quickly determine from the Event Viewer. However, this one was slightly different. This event viewer generated the following error message, with event code 2268:

Event ID: 2268
Raw Event ID : 2268
Record Nr. : 3746
Source: W3SVC-WP
Category: None
Type : Error
Machine : ACISERVER2
Description:
Could not load all ISAPI filters for site/service. Therefore startup aborted.

Event ID: 2274
Raw Event ID : 2274
Record Nr. : 3745
Source: W3SVC-WP
Category: None
Type : Error
Machine : ACISERVER2
Description:
ISAPI Filter ‘C:\WINDOWS\Microsoft.NET\Framework\v2.0.50727\aspnet_filter.dll’ could not be loaded due to a configuration problem. The current configuration only supports loading images built for a AMD64 processor architecture. The data field contains the error number. To learn more about this issue, including how to troubleshooting this kind of processor architecture mismatch error, see http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink/?LinkId=29349.

Confirm it, restart IIS and you will see the following error:

 1

Basically, you (or the software you were installing) switched your IIS site where OWA is installed into either a 32bit mode or ASP.NET 1.1. Since Exchange 2007 Outlook Web Access 2007 only runs on ASP.NET 2.0 in 64bit mode, you need to fix it back.

First, disable the 32bit mode for your web site. By default OWA goes into the Default Web Site context (0) so the following will take care of that:

cscript C:\inetpub\adminscripts\adsutil.vbs SET W3SVC/AppPools/Enable32bitAppOnWin64 0

Second, register ASP.NET 2.0 as the default framework for that web site:

C:\Windows\Microsoft.NET\Framework64\v2.0.50727>
aspnet_regiis.exe -i
Start installing ASP.NET (2.0.50727).
……………………………….
Finished installing ASP.NET (2.0.50727)

Restart IIS and you should be all set.

Remember, you have to be careful with third party software deployments and IIS on the 64bit platform. Before you do your rollouts create the web site for it, put it in its own worker group. If you allow it to do its own deployment it will usually go into the Default Web Site, DefaultAppPool and you’ll be reading this blog post again. Also remember that just because the software says it’s 64bit it doesn’t mean all the components of it (like web control panels) are 64bit as well.

In this case, it was Symantec AV that did it.

Also, I write technical articles on weekends so that Damian Leibaschoff can score a few hours of overtime. Time to give brother a raise…